DavidausZueri

Hello, everyone. I work at a shipping company where I load trailers all evening. Recently, I noticed a new driver (i.e., different team, and not a direct co-worker of mine, so I don't think we'll ever meet) who parks right next to the entrance (nothing wrong with that, he has a handicapped decal and all), but the thing is, he parks in reverse, so every time I exit to go home, I have to look at a big fat middle-finger sticker in his rear windshield (and a text that says, "Back off!"). I find that EXTREMELY offensive and not to mention immature. Why does he feel the need to give the middle finger to the entire world? So I decided he needs revenge. I tried punching the glass in hopes of doing some damage, but as you may know, windshield glass is extra thick (that's for the better - breaking glass with a bare fist would result in a bloody injury on my part, maybe even a trip to the ER). So, instead, I took my fist and banged on the body of his car, creating a small- to medium-sized dent. And to me, that's "even." He DESERVES to have that dent in what looks like a new-model car. No reason to have such an obnoxious, obscene, and immature sticker! Having said that, do you think I overreacted? What would you have done if you found such a sticker offensive?

Personally, I think it looks ugly. I'm not trying to be mean or degrade females, but I've noticed that as a new trend. I graduated high school in 2002. Looking through my yearbooks and nostalgic photos, I see not ONE girl wearing ripped jeans. Interestingly, I do not care when a GUY wears ripped jeans - which is a pretty rare occurrence anyway, and usually he's a construction worker or some other blue-collared worker, or maybe a rock musician. So it's mainly a girl thing. I wonder why girls feel the need to wear ripped jeans nowadays? I have yelled at a couple of them, like:

"You dress like a f!@#king slob!"

"No reason to wear ripped jeans!"

Of course, they never listen to me, and they just go on about their day. But I'd like to hear what other guys think. What do YOU think of girls who wear ripped jeans, and why did that suddenly become a fashion trend in recent times?

Ever since college, the Spanish language (and the history of Spain) has been one of my life passions. But I work at a hardware store, and you would think with so many Hispanic customers coming in (construction workers, day laborers, plumbers, electricians, etc.), I would use Spanish every day. Nope. Not at all. Many Hispanic customers actually speak good enough English (at least, enough to make their transaction), and those who DON'T speak English are (I presume) so ashamed that they would rather not speak at ALL than speak español to me. Unless the associate is Hispanic also. I'm a non-Hispanic white. I'm not accusing the Hispanics of being racist, but it just seems they don't like to speak Spanish to "Anglo-Saxon" white people. Maybe they're afraid of being labeled as "illegal"? There have been maybe two or three times I have gotten to speak Spanish, but that's it. I must say, Spanish is becoming a useless language in the U.S., as many Hispanics want to assimilate themselves into U.S. culture. What are some good ways to practice Spanish in the U.S.? Perhaps just online friends or something? Meetup.com? Anything else? Or should I just go ahead and switch to Italian, as that is more of a "white people" language?

I work fast food and I've realized how rude people can be. I mentioned in a previous question that most of my rude customers are immigrants (since I live in one of the new "Ellis Islands," so to speak), but I've had some rude American customers too. Here's a sampling:

Me: Hi, sir, what would you like today?

Customer (snappy): GIVE ME TWO BURRITOS!

Additional "insults" include (a sampling):

-(angry and snappy): "I want THAT rice over there, not this one!"

-"I need THREE!"

-"I said no black beans. Jesus Christ, are you even listening?"

Thankfully, I got a second job at a hardware retail store to supplement my income (though I'll most likely end up quitting my fast food job), and customers are SO much nicer at the hardware store!

Customer: "Hi, I was wondering if you could help me." (Describes problem/project)

Me: (Gives advice/help)

Customer: "Thank you, sir, I appreciate it!"

Some of them even shake my hand! Immigrants, too, are so much nicer at the hardware store! Yes, I know. I know. Even at the hardware store, there will STILL be that inevitable day when a customer is being pretty irritating/rude, but I bet it won't happen nearly as often as at my fast food place.

What makes fast food customers so rude and snappy and hardware store customers so polite and pleasant? Someone told me that people are mean and cranky when they're hungry, BUT I think that's just a lame EXCUSE. I'm never rude to fast food/restaurant workers no matter how hungry I am.

I figured this would be a good post for Martin Luther King day, given that he fought for civil rights and treating everyone equally:

First of all, no offense, and I am not trying to be racist or overgeneralizing or anything (I've met a lot of great immigrants over the years), but I work at one of the "glorified Taco Bells" (won't disclose which one to protect my privacy), so basically a fast food job, and I currently live in an area with a high immigrant population, and working at that place has made me realize how RUDE immigrants can be. Granted, in the end, I'm only going to remember my very BEST and my very WORST customers, but so far, almost EACH AND EVERY one of my "very worst customers" has been an immigrant. And that just really pisses me off.

Pretty much all of my very best customers have been "regular" Americans (okay, maybe one or two immigrants, just to be fair). There have also been cases where the adult (an immigrant) treats me like crap and their kids (born here in America) are nicer to me.

Come on, immigrants, this is America. You don't get to treat us Americans like dirt just because you had a hard life growing up. Listen to Martin Luther King, Jr. if your English is good enough. You might learn something.

I know, I know - the very immigrants whose behavior I'm urging to change will most likely not be reading this forum, but I just had to rant in favor of MLK day :).

....And then, according to TV at least, some (maybe just a few) passengers get told that they're too drunk to fly and are denied entry. How ironic is that?

Honestly, I do tend to be on the "slow" side. I seriously don't know: Why do airports have bars in the first place?

I originally came here to Beijing to teach ESL, but the agency screwed me over, so I have to go home next week.

I must say, though, I'm really disappointed: I thought that Bejing would have all kinds of people like Indians, Arabs, Australians, Russians and Europeans, but noooooooo. The foreigners here are almost ALL exclusively Americans. Occasionally to rarely, I hear German, French and Spanish (in that order). That's pretty much it. I have not seen one single Indian, just one Arab family, not one Australian, and not one Russian. The two main languages I hear are: Chinese. (American) English. Chinese. (American) English. Chinese. (American) English. Etc.

Let's take Hannover, Germany, for example. When I lived in Hannover, I heard not only German and Turkish, but also Arabic, Chinese, Farsi, Russian, and a multitude of African and Eastern European languages. Rarely did I ever encounter Americans/English speakers.

What makes the influx of foreigners so different? Why are Americans so attracted to Beijing? If someone were to ask, "There are Chinatowns in the U.S., so are there 'Americatowns' in China?," my answer would be, "Yes, it's called 'Beijing'!"

Though I'm sure a number of them are, they can't ALL be English teachers because they're so many of them (Americans) here. Have they simply been transferred here by their American companies, due to world economics, foreign investment, and what not?

I was in a coffee shop this morning and this woman came in to use her laptop/free wifi and did NOT buy anything, not even ask for a cup of water. So, I went up to her and said to her, "You should f****ing buy something if you're going to be here!" It took every ounce of energy not to call her a bad name. I wanted to keep cussing her out, but I was afraid someone would call the police and then I could possibly be charged with disorderly conduct (at worst) or asked to leave (at best).

People might say, "Well, David, if she's a decent person who just doesn't care about purchasing anything (and just wants to use the free wifi because it's a nice quiet place to work), then she most likely just thought YOU were an a$$hole."

Does anyone else get angry about so-called "laptop hobos"? There are other Internet forums dedicated to this topic, so she is certainly not the first person in American history to do that. Do you think I overreacted?

All my life, I've always looked forward to opening presents on Christmas morning, wondering the night before what good things I'll get! But this year, at the age of 30, my parents decided to do things differently by taking me and my brother to the outlet mall and saying, "Pick out whatever you'd like for Christmas. This way, we'll know that the clothes fit and you'll like the style and we won't have to deal with returns and exchanges."

Actually, I did have one classmate in grade school whose parents did that - they said to him and his siblings, "OK, kids, here's some money, just get whatever you want for Christmas!"

So, would you rather:

a) Receive "surprise" presents that you open on Christmas morning (which is the norm for most families, I imagine)

OR

b) Have your parents take you to the store to pick out your presents?

Does anyone even do option (b)?

Please help me solve this mystery! Why does the U.S., and every country for that matter, have strict immigration laws? Why does BIRTH have to dictate where somebody has to get citizenship and reside? Even then, strict immigration laws don't stop people from immigrating illegally! Wouldn't it be easier for every country to just open the borders for everyone?

I would love to be German/European (I'm American) but can't because of very strict EU immigration laws! I would have to have a very rare skill that can't be found within the EU or have a German wife! In a world with no immigration laws, I would just enter Germany (since I know German) and swap my US passport for a German one.

Instead of dealing with the hassle and enforcement of immigration laws (and hence, no more worries about illegal immigrants - there's also illegal immigration in Europe and Latin America, NOT just the U.S.!), wouldn't the world be better if every country just opened the borders for everyone? (I know, I know, then everybody in the world who works for their country's Customs and Immigration agency (or equivalent thereof) would be out of a job, but that's beside the point).

Please help me solve this mystery! Perhaps someone or someone you know who works for Customs and Immigration could help shed some light!

Philosophy question, really: I admit I'm kind of a bad person because of my anger. I think BY NATURE, I only want to do "what's right." I would never want to do anything to land in jail or prison. BUT, anger also turns me into a bad guy! Over the years, I've hurt SOOOOO many people (oftentimes, GOOD people) because of my anger, and for that, I deserve to die. (I know I've been talking about suicide on Y!A for years now, but you know, some people contemplate suicide for years before actually doing it.)

For example, I've been in Germany the past 2.5 months visiting family and seeing about getting a work visa. But those Turks! I don't like them, mainly because they don't want to adapt themselves to German culture. They just want to make Germany another Turkey. (In the same respect, you might hear Miami residents saying they hate the Cubans because they've made Miami into Havana #2!) Recently, I got into a bar fight with a Turk over this issue (trust me, beer, anger, and depression DO NOT mix!). The fight wasn't too big, we barely even hit each other. But I was asked to go home.

Now, I have to leave Germany because of my anger (actually, not so much because of that, but rather because non-EU-citizens only get 90 days in Europe). I can't move back in with my parents (or even other family!) because of my anger. I'm not looking forward to a homeless shelter. Many homeless would actually prefer to sleep on the STREETS than in a shelter, even when it's freezing cold! I once saw a homeless interview video on YouTube, and the homeless man said something like, "I've been homeless in Santa Monica for over five years, and I'm loving it!" Very few people (myself included) choose to be homeless. I don't know why people like him enjoy it so much.

My cousin, who's an anger management counselor funnily enough, tried to help me by sending me a copy of his book, claiming it has worked for hundreds of clients! In a way, it worked for me, but it also did not. A couple of months later, I went right back to being an angry grouch. I think my only hope is medication. I have to accept that my anger is beyond my control.

But still, I claim that I'm a bad person because of my anger, but yet people are STILL worried about the notion of me taking my own life. Wouldn't I be doing people a FAVOR? One less angry, miserable person? Actually, I don't have the courage to kill my own self, so it'd have to be something like "suicide by gang" (kind of like in Gran Torino). You know, go someplace like Ciudad Juarez (I speak fluent Spanish in addition to German), and say to a gang, "Todos ustedes son cobardes!" or something and they'll empty their guns on me.

This week, I've been doing fun things to do before I possibly die, like go to the movies, a museum, Chinese buffet, etc. I don't want to die, but anger has taken the better part of me. I still have nowhere to go when I get off the plane at JFK. I'm thinking a southern town so I don't freeze to death, but in the south, it's harder to get around without a car. In the north and west, it's freezing cold and more expensive! I'm freaking out!

So, the question one more time: Why not kill myself if I'm so angry all the time?

Sono svizzero-americano (inglese e tedesco sono le mie lingue principali...il mio italiano non è perfetto), e mi piace cercare su internet. Ho trovato posti INNUMEREVOLI che dicono:

Voglio suicidarmi...

Ho voglia di suicidarmi...

Ho deciso di suicidarmi...

Ma perché??? A mio giudizio:

1. L'italiano è probabilmente la lingua più bella del mondo.

2. Italia è uno dei paesi più belli del mondo.

3. (Per gli uomini) Le donne italiane sono BELLISSIME.

4. La cucina italina è molto deliziosa, specialmente la pizza di Napoli!

Capisco che l'economia italiana non è molto buona, e che Italia, come tutti i paesi del mondo, a i suoi problemi. Pero io penso che MOLTE persone vorrebbero vivere in Italia, anch'io. Le colline toscane, la costiera amalfitana, le spiagge, le Alpi, città storiche come Roma e Firenze, ecc., ecc.! Italia è quasi un paradiso sulla terra! Mi dispiace se questa è una domanda ignorante o scortese, ma non posso capire perché tanti italiani avrebbero voglia di suicidarsi?! Che pensate?

I wasn't sure if this question should be in "Polls and Surveys" or "Religion and Spirituality" but I figured it's more of a "poll" question (obviously). So, my situation is, I just haven't found a church that I LIKE (for one reason or another) until I remembered that there's a German-language church service offered in my area. What better way to keep up my German and worship at the same time? However, this church is roughly 12-13 miles away from my house, and in another state actually (where I live, if you go in one direction, you cross the river into another state; if you go the other direction, you will go further into the same state...it's just the way it is). I ride my bike there because I don't have a car and it's a "built-in" Sunday morning workout, and so the total trip time is between 1 hour and 1 hour and 15 minutes (that same trip by car would probably take 20-30 minutes).

An hour and 15 minutes to get to church? I don't know anyone who would be willing to do that. I might hold a record for the longest commute time to church! And in another state? Who goes to church in another state? So, I'd like to hear your opinions and any similar stories if you have any. I don't think there's a Guiness World Record for this, but if there were, I wonder if I would win?

So, I'm obviously aware of "Alcoholics Anonymous" and "Narcotics Anonymous," but caffeine/sugar is AS MUCH of an addiction as alcohol or narcotics. I myself am a "sodaholic"! I mean, sometimes I might stop "cold turkey" for a while, but then I relapse and start drinking soda again, usually Pepsi or Coke, or Root Beer (but rarely other kinds). It just tastes so good! I only drink 1 (rarely 2-3) cans a day, but it's the "dependency" on soda that matters. I just HAVE to get my lips on a nice, cold soda when I get home from work (especially being a blue-collar worker out in the heat all day this time of year).

As for alcohol, I save that for ONLY special occasions, and even then, I only drink beer (not wine and never hard liquor). I ask myself, "Why can't I do that for soda?"

I know how hard life is not just for the alcoholics themselves, but also for the families of alcoholics...domestic violence (even murders), drunk driving accidents, health problems, etc. But I have a REAL anger problem!!!! And studies show that too much caffeine and sugar can have a negative effect on anger! Soda can also lead to diabetes and other health problems.

I once asked a pastor if I, as a sodaholic, could attend AA, but he said I would not be taken seriously and most likely be asked to leave. But I can't help but wonder why sodaholics can't follow a "12-step program" like alcoholics? As stated, caffeine is as much of an addiction as alcohol. After all, caffeine is a DRUG too, but a legal drug (just like alcohol and tobacco!).

I'm not sure what my question is...but I guess for two points, perhaps your opinion on why society focuses so much on alcohol and drug addictions, but hardly ever on caffeine addictions?

I am 28 (going on 29) and have never had sex before. I’ve been ignored most of my life because of a birth defect involving the neck (nothing too serious, just disfigurements). But women don’t know what they’re missing out on! I speak three languages, I like to travel, I’m skilled in math, I’m a good writer, I’m considerate to others’ needs, I volunteer my time, etc. I think I sound like a guy that many women would want to go out with! Back in high school and college, I had a few girls approach me, mostly ugly girls. (Yeah, I know – attractive women already have lots of guys approaching them, so why would they need to approach me?) I have had girls call me “hon” or “sweetie” but that’s usually because they address everybody that way – doesn’t necessarily mean they're attracted to me. I think I’m reasonably attractive, but I would probably be the “male model” type if not for my birth defect. Because if I were that attractive, how come I’ve never had a girlfriend?

Over the past year, I have come to the conclusion that “I NEED to have the chance to stick my you-know-what into a woman’s you-know-what. Otherwise, I will NEVER be happy.” Don’t give me that “poor people in Africa/Latin America” lecture. Even poor (and homeless!) people can get sex, so it’s not about that. The only consolation is that some people have worse birth defects than me – they could be so mentally disabled (I need to be politically correct here!) through a birth defect or accident/injury that they don’t even know or understand what “sexual intercourse” is. That being said, I’m definitely in the minority. Most guys my age have had sex by now. I could have lots of money, a great job, nice car, my own house, fancy clothes, etc., but I STILL wouldn’t be happy being a virgin. I know this is TMI, but I’m sick and tired of ejaculating all over my PJs at night, just because I’m not “getting any.” Is there any way to fix this attitudinal problem?

Hello and happy Easter (well, which is tomorrow, but happy early Easter)! One of the things that pushes my buttons is when someone (on or offline, but especially online) uses Jesus as a swear word. The ONLY time I ever do that is when there's a situation so intense that I'd like Jesus/God to intervene; for example, "Jesus Christ, how can people in this city be so stupid?" That means I want Jesus/God to try and change those idiots. Now, if you look at the Ten Commandments, one of them says, ""You must not misuse the name of the LORD your God. The LORD will not let you go unpunished if you misuse his name." (NLT) Look at the second half - I figure, why not help God with his "homework" by punishing them? So, especially online (hardly ever offline because there are a lot of crazy people out there who would want to beat me up if I tried to "punish" them), I simply say, "**** you for using the Lord's name in vain!" For example, this is from a forum about the movie Titanic (hey, 100th anniversary coming up!) - SPOILERS:

OP: BOTH Jack and Rose could have lived if (blah, blah, blah)...

Responder: Christ, this again?

Me: Fuh-q for using the Lord's name in vain. Fuh-q!

Responder: And I'm sure the Lord is very proud of you for saying "Fuh-q." Imbecile!

ROFLMAO!!! I just think people like that deserve to be punished according to the Biblical scripture, that's all. But still, is my swearing any "better" than their swearing? It seems like I'm sinking down to THEIR level by getting pissed at them and swearing back. Christians, what is the morality behind my logic here? Appropriate or inappropriate? How would YOU react?

Now, I'm not talking about pretending to be an "inmigrante que no habla ingles" - my Spanish is not even that good (intermediate, I suppose). But what I am talking about is a NON-English, NON-Spanish language, namely German (my "second" native language). German is not a popular language in the US, especially where I live (New Mexico - very few German speakers aside from maybe German tourists :)). In this country, it's way too easy to get arrested for the smallest infraction. Or, more likely, I'll (once more!) be involuntarily committed to a psych ward. If either of those situations ever happen, I'll REFUSE to speak English and only German. Doesn't that include "the right to remain silent" by not speaking English? It's not that I want to give the officers/mental health professionals "a hard time," but rather, when I'm fed up with life in the US, I only want to speak German so that no one will know what I'm saying, as in a code, so to speak (funny how back in the Early Middle Ages, (Old) English and German used to be practically the same language, but now they're different like night and day!).

I'd especially like to hear from law enforcement officers - how do YOU handle a detainee who doesn't speak English, but only a non-English, non-Spanish language? Do you detain the person until more info is found or is it a "get out of jail free" card (I doubt it)? I'm really only asking out of curiosity - I have good moral character and don't plan on committing a crime anytime soon.

I live in Albuquerque, NM (not because I really want to, but because there are math teaching jobs here). But it’s a shame that such a beautiful state like New Mexico has probably the stupidest people in the entire nation! Someone told me, “Stupidity is part of the American condition (or perhaps the human condition in general). Accept it and move on.”

But I honestly think some cities are “smarter” than others. Here in Albuquerque, there are no rules! People just do whatever they want, no matter how stupid or dull the behavior may be. Everyone (and I do mean almost EVERYONE) jaywalks, hardly anyone wears a helmet when biking (either bike or motorcycle), they drink on the bus even though beverages are not allowed, they ride their motor scooters and skateboards on the sidewalk with no regard for pedestrian safety, they just live like there’s no tomorrow. New Mexico ranks among the lowest in the nation for education, so people just don’t care much about being educated. And to think I may have to TEACH these people…?

I, on the other hand, am one of few smart people in Albuquerque. I ALWAYS use the crosswalk and never jaywalk (well, almost never – there will *rarely* come a time when I have to jaywalk myself, but I only do so when there are NO cars coming, and even then, I dash across with safety in mind, unlike everyone else), I always wear a helmet, I have a high regard for safety, I never engage in reckless behavior, I obey all rules, and I’m actually educated (I went to school in Germany for a year) and want to learn. I’m not saying I’m “perfect” or “God-like” in any way (because no one is ever “perfect”), but I just wonder how so many idiots can be concentrated in one place in central New Mexico.

Today, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I beat the CRAP out of a punching bag at the gym because of all the idiots here. The ONLY thing I can do about this is MOVE (like north to Denver, where people actually have intellect, intelligence and education!), because if being stupid is the way people in Albuquerque do things, then it’s not going to change anytime soon. I had the privilege of living in Seattle over the winter – yes, there were some stupid people there, but a different kind of stupid (mostly just “posers” – wannabe actors, wannabe rock stars, Kurt Cobain wannabes, etc.). Seattle was certainly more “intellectual” and “educated” and diverse (I loved hearing foreign languages in places like Capitol Hill), people always used turn signals and wore helmets (but probably only because the law required them to). I sort of miss Seattle now! Well, actually, I’m very, very homesick for Germany (my “adopted” home), so that could be a big part of the reason for my anger. (I know some smart-*** might say: “There are only two things you need: A passport and a plane ticket. Go back to Germany!” – but it’s NOT that easy. EU regulations make it extremely difficult for an American to find legal work there.)

I feel I’d rather kill myself than live amongst these idiots – but since I’m smart and know better, I’m not going to kill myself. I just have to move where people are smarter and actually follow the rules. I can’t help but wonder though – is it stupid of ME to get angry at “stupid people”? Someone in a forum once wrote: “Only ‘stupid people’ get annoyed by ‘stupid people.’” Is there some truth to that? What do you think?

Firstly, I honestly don't know WHY it pisses me off so much when motorcyclists don't wear helmets. It would take a psychologist who specializes in anger management to get to the root of why that is so. But here in New Mexico, motorcycles are very popular, especially since there's no helmet law for riders over 18. Plus, winter is pretty much over here (though I myself prefer a "real" winter...however, NM is begging for math teachers, my trade, so that's why I'm here). On the way home from church today, I noticed not one single motorcyclist wore a helmet. In the past, I used to flip them off and give them a "piece of my mind" for not wearing a helmet, but I've realized that NO amount of anger will get my point across to them...it's not like I'm going to change them. However, by not blowing up in anger at the cyclists, I came home all angry and couldn't concentrate on anything. It's like controlling my life!

Don't get me wrong - I like motorcycles, I love visiting motorcycle dealerships with my dad, and my dad himself has three motorcycles (but he ALWAYS wears a helmet, even in states that don't require it)! But still...how can I stop getting SOOO angry at motorcyclists who don't wear helmets? It's like they don't even care about their own well-being or something. I don't buy the argument that "A helmet gives them a false sense of security, so they ride safer without one." That's bull! I've noticed when they don't wear a helmet, some go out of their way to drive even MORE dangerously because they think they're SO invincible!

I would especially like to hear from bikers themselves...I don't care HOW rude you feel you need to be to me on Y!A; I'd rather you be rude to me online than me getting myself victimized on the streets by some other biker who wants to give ME a "piece of their mind."

1. "Some students in New Mexico learn Spanish at the university because they regret not learning the language from their grandparents."

"Algunos estudiantes en Nuevo Mexico aprenden (el???) espanol en la universidad porque lamentan no haber aprendido el idioma de sus abuelos."

2. "I don't speak Spanish that well, because I'm more interested in the literature than in the language itself, so I can read Spanish better than I can speak it."

"No hablo espanol tan bien, porque me intereso mas por la literatura que por el idioma mismo, asi que puedo leer el espanol mejor que hablar(lo???)."

Gracias por tu ayuda!