If I admit I'm a bad person, why would people be worried about me committing suicide?

Philosophy question, really: I admit I'm kind of a bad person because of my anger. I think BY NATURE, I only want to do "what's right." I would never want to do anything to land in jail or prison. BUT, anger also turns me into a bad guy! Over the years, I've hurt SOOOOO many people (oftentimes, GOOD people) because of my anger, and for that, I deserve to die. (I know I've been talking about suicide on Y!A for years now, but you know, some people contemplate suicide for years before actually doing it.)

For example, I've been in Germany the past 2.5 months visiting family and seeing about getting a work visa. But those Turks! I don't like them, mainly because they don't want to adapt themselves to German culture. They just want to make Germany another Turkey. (In the same respect, you might hear Miami residents saying they hate the Cubans because they've made Miami into Havana #2!) Recently, I got into a bar fight with a Turk over this issue (trust me, beer, anger, and depression DO NOT mix!). The fight wasn't too big, we barely even hit each other. But I was asked to go home.

Now, I have to leave Germany because of my anger (actually, not so much because of that, but rather because non-EU-citizens only get 90 days in Europe). I can't move back in with my parents (or even other family!) because of my anger. I'm not looking forward to a homeless shelter. Many homeless would actually prefer to sleep on the STREETS than in a shelter, even when it's freezing cold! I once saw a homeless interview video on YouTube, and the homeless man said something like, "I've been homeless in Santa Monica for over five years, and I'm loving it!" Very few people (myself included) choose to be homeless. I don't know why people like him enjoy it so much.

My cousin, who's an anger management counselor funnily enough, tried to help me by sending me a copy of his book, claiming it has worked for hundreds of clients! In a way, it worked for me, but it also did not. A couple of months later, I went right back to being an angry grouch. I think my only hope is medication. I have to accept that my anger is beyond my control.

But still, I claim that I'm a bad person because of my anger, but yet people are STILL worried about the notion of me taking my own life. Wouldn't I be doing people a FAVOR? One less angry, miserable person? Actually, I don't have the courage to kill my own self, so it'd have to be something like "suicide by gang" (kind of like in Gran Torino). You know, go someplace like Ciudad Juarez (I speak fluent Spanish in addition to German), and say to a gang, "Todos ustedes son cobardes!" or something and they'll empty their guns on me.

This week, I've been doing fun things to do before I possibly die, like go to the movies, a museum, Chinese buffet, etc. I don't want to die, but anger has taken the better part of me. I still have nowhere to go when I get off the plane at JFK. I'm thinking a southern town so I don't freeze to death, but in the south, it's harder to get around without a car. In the north and west, it's freezing cold and more expensive! I'm freaking out!

So, the question one more time: Why not kill myself if I'm so angry all the time?