Warning a friend to avoid him troubles - bad idea?

You meant well and are a good person to be so concerned about friends and colleagues. Perhaps you should have held back a little longer with speaking to your friend about what was going on behind his back.

Remember no one like's to be told by a third party of their shortcomings. Maybe an apology of some sort wouldn't go amiss. Is there something that you could do that would diffuse the situation between you and him. Maybe an olive branch and a white flag when you go into the office next time.

This isn't an all is lost scenario, this is a lesson of what life's about, and you will become more resilient and wiser for it.

givemestrength

It is never a good idea to be the third party in a situation. Because they sometimes backfire, like in this instance. Now you're the third man out when you were only trying to be a friend to the person. In situations such as this the best thing to do sometimes is nothing, simply refuse to hear the gossip and your silence will speak louder than words.

I don't think what you did was stupid. However, no good deed goes unpunished.

Just because you do the right thing does not mean you are always going to be rewarded.

Technically, it was none of your business, so yes, unless you are involved in the situation, it is better to keep your mouth shut.

So you stood bitching with workmates about another workmate and then told him?! Yep, that was stupid. What he didn't know didn't hurt him, but now he knows his workplace is full of people who ***** behind his back. He is really stressed and maybe told you you were lying just from the shock.

Apologise (email him maybe) saying you stupidly told him something in a way that was clumsy and you were wrong. He might then think the ***** session wasn't that bad. And in future don't tell people what other people said of them. No-one likes it. Ignorance is bliss!

Hi there.

You did the right thing, what a good friend would do.

So tell him that - tell him his calling you a liar hurts and you have got the message not to bring bad news, but that you were being a genuine friend and won't do this again.

In future, best just leave him to it - he clearly doesn't appreciate what you have done.

But respect to you, for doing your best.

Regards, Steve.

You just stepped into the middle of something that was none of your business. You lose. Hope this was a lesson learned.