Could native speakers pleasre read these two sentences and correct them?

Question

Are these sentences alright? If not, please correct them! Thank you!

"The proposed study is based on self-report questionnaires that aim to investigate various risk factors in bipolar disorder. Purpose of the amendment is to request permission to replace some of the measures we were originally planning to use with new scales."


It is the 2nd sentence I am worried about--does there need to be a comma before "with new scales"? And is it okay to begin the sentence with "Purpose is..." , not "the purpose is"? (as that would be a repetition and not very elegant)

bobman · Accepted Answer

You have to say 'The purpose is' you cannot begin a sentence with 'purpose is'.
You do not have a comma before new scales.

Anonym · Answer

No there does not need to be a comma before 'with new scales' because it would upset the flow of the sentence and create a conversational tone.

You are right about the 'Purpose' section It is wrong, You cannot start the sentence with just 'Purpose' it should read like this:

The proposed study is based on self report questionnaires that aimED to investigate THE various risk factors (what risk factors are they?)  in Bipolar Disorder. THE purpose of the amendment is to request permission to replace selected measures which were originally planned to be used with new scales

I also changed the 'we' part because it sounds far too informal. I added in words with the capitals.

Also the bracketed part I put in there as a suggestion, because if you are writing a comprehensive report you should probably list what you are talking about

hirame · Answer

no comma needed

Could native speakers pleasre read these two sentences and correct them?

3 Antworten