Should I be alarmed? My church is a relativity small one, I noticed certain things in the congregation,?

Most of the evangelicals and fundamentalists in my area are divorced. Some are gay but cannot come out because of all of the guntoting teabaggers who hate gays.

I think you should go to a Catholic mass every Sunday for three months. See if you like it.

It is alarming, and unfortunately a wide-spread phenomenon. Don't blame the ministry though. The leaders can't enforce solidarity, either in the families or the churches. If couples could only realize that by going to church together they could better influence their children. In many churches, there are many more women than men. Women seem to have a higher level of commitment in general.

- On this page you will get some answers from people who don't know what church is about and won't be able to figure out what the concern is - don't let it bother you.

I notice that several people seem to be advising you to "go to another church". I think that's just the problem - when people see something they don't like in a church, they "take their business elsewhere". But church is not like a shop in the mall. It's the body of Christ. You would need a very good reason to leave - not just because there are some weaknesses, because by leaving you would be adding to the weakness and instability. Do your part to make your church as attractive as possible, and as helpful as possible to those who come. Invite people to our home, etc. Be a good listener. This is part of what helps build up a church, making it strong. Every individual doing their part.

The answer to your question is in your gut.

The fact that you are posting this question on here leads me to think that YOU don't think it's okay, for whatever reason. Since you said, "everybody acts like its ok!" that tells me that you don't agree with what you see or feel while you're there, so no, it's not healthy. You have to feel right about it.

I don't think that partners/spouses need to have the same faith. So, I think it's fine that some spouses go to other churches or don't come. Boundaries are healthy as is trusting spouses to move freely.

What alarms me is that you're prompted to ask. I think that many answers are found right within our questions.

Yes, it sounds strange that NO spouses come to church. My suggestion is to do some research on the church to see if you can find out more about their deeper beliefs. Look up the pastor. There are pastors who start up small congregations because they were kicked out of some other church or town. You have the right to know who you are taking counsel from.

When church is a place that you put your faith, trust, time, and money...it's fair to question it. This doesn't mean you're questioning god. Just because a church says it's holy doesn't necessarily make it so. There is a lot of bloodshed, abuse, and damage done in the name of god, something that has always repelled me, but people have a need to believe. It's my belief that those places that are the most holy to us, the places that we choose as refuge, they must be safe. It's okay for you to ask about this. Investigating the places we choose to call home is important.

I don't think male-dominated hierarchical congregations are healthy, but I'm not sure if that's what you're saying.

Answers like "Superguy" only prove that you need to pay attention to the message around you. The message is not always verbal or written, but action.

I think you ARE picking up on appropriate red flags. Never ignore them.

What is going on in other people's lives are their business and is between them and god, not them and you. No one can force their spouse to go to the same church they do - or go at all. Why is it NOT ok to love and respect your spouse enough that them attending a different church is not a big deal? We all have our own spiritual paths to walk and sometimes our lives may be intertwined with the life of someone on a completely different path. As long as the love and respect between the two partners is real and genuine it will not be a problem. Mr Dementia and I aren't even the same faith, let alone attend the same types of "services". We love and respect one another "as is" so it's not a problem for us. May be the same thing with the folks at your church - the love and respect between the two spouses is strong enough they don't feel the need to try to force their will and their own spiritual path on each other.

Well don't let other people get to you ok and if you feel comfortable with going to this church you going to then stay there. If God wants you to leave because you may not be growing then listen to God and He will open a door for you to go to the best church that you need to grow more in him.

God bless you and don't let other people speak down to you about you getting in a divorce ok. God has forgiven you and now you have to move on. God has great plans in your life and He is getting ready to do a lot in your life, but first you have to forgive and forget your past life. if you need someone to talk to and get encouragement then you can message me whenever. God bless you so much.

just because the wives don't involve themselves with the church doesn't mean that you should necessarily be concerned. If you notice anything else out of the ordinary that makes you feel uncomfortable- by all means leave and find another church! There are plenty out there that will make you feel comfortable. But this one doesn't sound too bad.

Yes, very alarmed....run away. This is not a church that is trying to model the 1st century bible church. Pray that God will show you or give you knowledge that will lead you to a church that believes & acts closest to what God /bible calls his church to be like.

because people tend to go to the churches that tell them what they wanna hear, so a wife likes one church and the husband might like another. Of course that doesn't make sense because if you truly believe in god, why does it matter what building you're on? don't you think

If you are unhappy, then pray and ask God to find you the church he wants you in. He will answer. Be patient. But it's wonderful you are wanting to be a Christian and serve Jesus. He honors this. Don't give up but pray for God to help you find peace.

If you are uncomfortable with the Church find another one. Perhaps one spouse has to work on Sundays or stay home to watch the kids. Perhaps they are not Christian, the reasons could go on. You seem judgemental to me.