How long does it take for an ex to come knocking?

Question

My ex decided she just didn't feel the same about me anymore about a month ago. This hurt me badly. I really didn't see it coming at all. We went out for over 1.5 years. The breakup itself was slightly drawn out. I told her how much I loved her and basically everything I could for about a week until she made it official. After that I went one week without talking to her, hoping she'd change her mind. Didn't work. She messaged me after the week and we actually ended up fighting about the breakup. Obviously not a great move on my part, but I really wasn't thinking straight at all.

After that I tried my best to not talk to her. She would message me every few days. The chats were pretty much her saying something like 'I like this TV show' and I would reply 'That's good'. They always ended about 2 minutes after they began. Another week or two went by when we actually talked about the breakup. I forget how exactly it started, but the major quotes were her saying "I just want to be friends right now, nothing more". I then replied "I can't ever be just a friend to you. I can try and be a friend now, but I will always want something more". She follows up with "Well you better not act on it then".

I think I talked to her one more time since that talk. I kept it light hearted and avoided talking about how horrible I feel or how much I want her back. It was only a brief chat anyway. Since then I took the advice of my friends and family who said that I need to vanish. I need to make it so she will never see me, online or in person. Like I dropped off the face of the earth. Today is day 8 since I implemented this. I haven't slipped up yet, but oh my god it's so tempting just to try and message her or call her.

So my real question is, how long is it going to take for her to come calling. I figure even if I don't appear online or in person anywhere she still has my number. She can call me if she wanted to. I know that I'm supposed to be no contact with her to try and move on, but it's been a month and I still can't. I love her with all my heart and I really believe she is the one for me. I told her I would always love her forever and I mean to keep that promise. So how long should I expect to wait until she tries to contact me. And even if she does, do I have a realistic shot of her wanting to get back together sometime in the near future? Not immediately, but like within a I'd say two or three months.

Anonym · Accepted Answer

I don't want to sound mean, but do you really want her back? You've poured your heart out to her and she just threw it away? It seems to me that she's just lost interest. Sometimes that just happens. My longest relationship had been 6 months. I was young and immature. After that 6 month time period I lost interest. The guy never did anything wrong, I was just not interested anymore. Sometimes there is nothing wrong with the other person, but we aren't mature enough to handle a real, serious relationship. 

However, to answer your question, you are on the right track. She's not going to want to come around until she sees that you are happy. And not just regular happy, like you are trying to convince yourself that you are happy, but really and truly happy with yourself. What will add fuel to the happy fire is when she see's a girl who you enjoy being around more than her. When she has to search you out it makes you more illusive and more attractive.

Hopefully you see soon that you don't need her to be happy. She has clearly not appreciated you and she doesn't deserve all this time and thought you've given her.

Dark Angel · Answer

If you are lucky, she will not come calling. There is a reason you are no longer together. She obviously is moving on with her life. Perhaps she felt guilty about leaving you and continued chatting with you simply to know you were doing alright; however, that does not mean that she wanted to rehash the relationship or get back together. Take your family's advice and move on. There really was no reason to "vanish" because it should not be necessary to change your entire life in order to make a change in it. Consider that we often want that which we can't have. Give yourself time to accustom yourself to the change. Spend more of your time doing things you enjoy and less time obsessing over your ex-girlfriend.

Minnie Me · Answer

You sound JUST like my "ex"; we've been unofficially "dating" for a year. I've tried "breaking up" with him about six times (no lie) but he always gets to me that way you do with your ex (texting her a few days after, telling her you love her, etc.)...these times that I've "gotten back together" with him, it has, honestly, been out of pity. You do not want that. You deserve someone who wants/loves you as much as you do them.

It hasn't even been two weeks since your real, official break up. You need to let time heal your very big wound. IF it is meant to be for you and her, it WILL happen. She'll come around. But for the time being, just relax. You need to let your emotions mellow down alot. You're doing a great job; keep it up even if it seems worthless right now.

In the long run, you will come out a better person from this experience. Keep your head up and good luck =)

beadlz · Answer

there is a reason why you two broke up.  think about it and identify the reason.  there is a saying "it takes two to tango".  if you cant find anything you were doing wrong, maybe you were loving her too much and she felt smothered.  i dont know, but if it has happened once, it will happen again most likely.  its a preview of what things will be like in the future with her.  my suggestion is that you move on and not contact her.  she knows where you live and your number.  if she wanted to still have ties with you, you would have heard from her by now.

Anonym · Answer

i do no longer understand easy techniques to hold directly to her after she left you. i comprehend it hurts yet could you opt for her lower back so she would be able to go away you at a drop of a dime lower back? permit her be. locate somebody that truly merits you. Be a guy, improve a pair and tutor her that she made the blunders for leaving you.

Van · Answer

1

Anonym · Answer

Never

M T · Answer

TLDR

How long does it take for an ex to come knocking?

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