Just image: It's Christmas eve and your son is very abusive to you , pokes on you and pushes you and yells?

Do not accept physical abuse from your son, tell him not to poke or push you. He does not have the right to be in your house, it is a privilege and you can tell him to leave.

If he ever lays another finger on you, call the police and put a restraining order on him. You simply cannot tolerate abuse from him.

If your other son is able to protect you, talk to him about keeping the first son in line. If you turn around and let him get away with it, let him come back after he hit or pushed you, then shame on you, because then he will only get worse.

Yes it is hurtful when children grow up to be spoiled selfish mean brats. I used to think it was the parenting but this whole generation of kids is so spoiled, selfish, worthless and helpless I don't think it is bad parenting anymore. I think many good people tried to raise their children with compassion rather than discipline and proved that it doesn't work. Those of us who were physically spanked grew up to respect our parents and authority; the generation who was raised with other means grew up horrible.

So you have to give up your expectation of your son being nice to you just because you are the mother, because millions of mothers around the country will tell you their children are the same as yours and treat them with no respect and expect the mother to still do things for them in their 20's and 30's. You have to face that he is not a good person and you have to protect yourself, even if that means he is not welcome at your home anymore.

Good luck

you need to put your foot down. you raised him. you've sacrificed enough for him. you don't need to sacrifice your dignity now. he needs to respect you because you deserve it. he needs the taste slapped out of his mouth. it doesn't matter that he's frustrated with his life! he should be asking you for advice, not pushing you around like it's your fault. he made his own mistakes. if he doesn't listen to reason, and doesn't obey your demands for the respect that is owed to you, i would cull him out of my life TEMPORARILY, definitley not for good, just until he learned to obey and respect you, and treat you with the dignity that you have earned.