help with hubby of almost 8 years?

Question

I have cought him texting to other women several times. he says its nothing seriouse and that he loves me. He works out of town and comes home thursday night and leaves monday morning. Usualy when he gets home he stays home and this time he went out without letting me know or at least asking if it was cool . I always ask him if its ok with him when i go out with my girls. When he got home he fell asleep. No action or nothing. Anyway. I went through his phone cause i seen the nr. on the phonebill that we had agreed on he wont talk to anymore. I found him telling her that he wishes to be in his arms. and she does too. he says from arguments before that she is just some hoe you pay her drinks for at a local bar where he works and she gives you a little attention. But he chatted her up again or never stopped since i didnt go through his phone for a while. This whole weekend was weired cause we are intimate more than twice during a weekend even though we have four children. I dont look bad by the way and am not fat. I confroted him this morning about that i seen her nr. on the phonebill. Didnt tell him knowing about the texts that i have seen. he swore that he has not talked to her at all. And that our one year old must have gotten his phone like usualy and dialed the nr. (She does that for real) He looked me in the eyes and told me he has not talked to her. I pretended that everything was ok then. He left for work and then i texted him that I cant believe he lyed straight to my face and i seen the text and her nr. was under one of his friends name. So he was hiding it cause he knew i would go through his phone again. He did not answer me to that text. So i called him and asked him if he got the text and he said yes and why i would go through his phone again even though i had told him i wouldnt. and that he was not lying but he call me later and tell me everthing. What should i think of this? Guys your opinion since you are men and everyone else is invited to comment too of course. I just dont know what to think no more . I know he loves me dearly. But also one thing that gets me mad besides him talking to other women. Is that i already dont see him during the week and when he is here he always invites his brother s. and this is every weekend and every day of that weekend. and i have told him it would be nice to just have a weekend to us. But he said he cant just kick them out when they show up. But most of the time he is the one that invites them. I dont know what to do cause i asked him if it was so bad to have him all to myself. And by the way one of his brothers works for him. So he already sees him during the week everyday hangs out with him for beers after work. And i just feel like he doesnt enjoy my company anymore. I cant go nowhere since all of my family lives in Germany and we are in the states. I have no outlet whatsoever to go to .

Update:

I do treat him like i am his girlfriend . I fix myself up. clean the house . I even do all of the yard work since he is in construction and works hard the last thing he wants to do is work hard at home. I do beer runs. I take care of the kids i manage the finances. I send him messages that i miss him. I flirt with him on the weekends . But yet he still does his own thing and i dont know what else to do. I would never go through his phone before. But one morning we where still in bed and my phone dyed while i was texting my friend. So i asked him if i could text her from his phone cause i was to lacy to get up. and he was ok with it. then i seen that one of our friends texts him and i made fun of it like in a sexy kind of way just to teace him. I was not thinking anything bad. I mean I went through his phone in front of him. They were not texting anything sexy or nothing just friends wise. And he got all mad at me. So i got suspicouse . he had made a move on her but got turnd down .

Update 2:

thats when i lost my trust in him and i wish i just could get it back somehow

kpopp · Accepted Answer

If you want to continue the marriage, you must speak up. Lay out to your husband that you feel that you and he need to spend more time together. And the best way to do this, is to have this conversation in a restaurant where you can talk and not be interrupted. You need to put some time aside when you can be by yourself. Check out my source for more info on marriage and relationships.

Anonym · Answer

Okay, first of all..........that was PAINFUL to read.  As a husband and as a guy, that was just flat out PAINFUL. 

Second of all, he is obviously interested in somebody else.  And based on how much jibberish you wrote in this question AND the fact that you're snooping through phone bills and cell phone texts, I can start to understand why he is probably losing interest in you.  I am not defending dishonest behavior by any means.  But women convince themselves that they have nothing to do with their husbands behavior, when they actually have all the power in the world.   A happy husband won't cheat.  Unless he is just a complete jerk.  In which case, you probably knew that when you married him.  But in general, men who are happy with their wives wouldn't be tempted if the wrong woman appeared at the right time.   

Now you say your husband is gone Monday through Thursday.  So what are weekends like?  Are you extra nice?  Appreciative?  Do you rock his world?  Or do you waste that time together by complaining, snooping, and being somebody he just doesn't really enjoy being around anymore?  My advice?  Stop acting like a ball busting wife, and try acting like a girlfriend instead.  See what happens.

Anonym · Answer

first off,  hes cheating.  the thing you need to do is sit down and discuss options.  stay or go.  you have to decide if you can get past this the lying to your face. no matter what model you are {man//women} getting lied to by any one is a b****.  if you want you to go then get the ducks in a row.  stash the cash without his knowledge. then make a dash.  after a while apart maybe he will realize that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and never say he sorry again.  respect is a very big part in the love word.  if he loves you dearly, he wont be respecting you.  try it , it works.  live your life never having to say your sorry

raynestar3 · Answer

Be prepared to be lied to. The reason he can't tell you everything now is because he is coming up with a story. He lied to you before and will continue to do so until you are satisfied with what you hear.

He's obviously cheating on you. You don't say you can't wait to be in someone's arms if there hasn't been physical contact. He is not just talking to this woman.

Me personally, I would leave him. Cheat on me once, your gone. But that's me. It's up to you to decide if he is worth keeping around despite the cheating.

dreamweaver · Answer

get  a plane ticket home and leave him once and for all I didnt read all of this but he is a liar and a cheater and doesnt love you it is right in front of your face if you cant leave spend his money or get a part time job go see a divorce lawyer and see what your options are he is like a guy in a candy store that hasnt grown up

bronzebabekentucky · Answer

He's cheating AND lying to you about it.
Why are you still there?  He isn't going to stop, and he is disrespecting you.

? · Answer

Tell him

Redbroke · Answer

Sound suspicious....

help with hubby of almost 8 years?

8 Antworten