Do i deserve to die?????????

I have committed a sin.Ive followed the bibles guide lines all my life,not once have i ever felt so shallow,broken,sad,guilty,depressed,selfish,and heartless all at once.I was driving to church one Sunday morning.I had my kids in the backseat.We were enjoying the ride ,singing with joy as god fed the suns light into the car warming our bodies from the slightly cold breeze that entered through the back window.Everything was perfect like GOD had planned it.I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath of air.It smelled like fresh cut grass.Everything i believed in changed when i reopened my eyes.Death was near.Everything seemed darker.I didn't understand why.The sun did not smile at me.Instead i saw the dark clouds staring us down with angry eyes ready to unleash their pain and sorrow down onto the world.The fresh air cried as it was replaced by a scent of burnt wood and flesh.Then everything went back to normal.Everything was okay.Or was it?I was sweating.But i was cold.My shivering was knocking my glasses right off so i knew i had to stop the car and put myself together again.Everything that had just happened was still vivid in my memory.As it had been tattooed onto the pupils of my eyes.Its all i could think about.All i could see.I decided not to stop.So i wouldn't scare the kids.I could see their worried faces from my rear view mirror.I continued driving until i heard a crunch under my tires.It wasn't a loud crunch.It was very low but i felt.I stopped to see what it was.I didn't know.Maybe it was glass or something.That's what i thought at first.Then i took a closer look.My god...what have i done.....On my tire was an ant..struggling for its life.I puked.I couldn't bare seeing its guts smothered and its body bent the way it was.I had inflicted pain on one of GOD's creatures.I was sure that he would inflict the same to me and my family.This was the devils doing.Im afraid that GOD will run me over with his trailer truck and my kids will have to watch me bent in half struggling to keep my guts inside my body.I knew what i did and iknew what i had to do.I had to eat it.I had to eat the ant.That way when GOD asks me why he was one ant short i could say i rsn it over because thats how i like to eat them.It was a perfect plan.The perfect excuse.I couldnt do it with all the witnesses around me.The trees arent known to keep secrets.So i had to do it quick.I grabbed the ant.It was still alive.I examined it,hoping i could find an area of the ant that was easier to eat.No luck so i looked behind me make sure no one was looking.Popped the ant in my mouth.Got in my car and drove away.Ill see you all in hell