Do you feel pressure to conform to gay stereotypes?

Oh Man, you hit the nail on the head. That's part of the reason I can't stand 90% of the gay guys I meet. I dress pretty well, but that's in straight standards. All of my guy friends are straight, and we play beer pong on the weekends, go out and party, and have a blast. Me being gay isn't an issue, even though they are very well aware.

I've got three older brothers, and I just click better with straight people. Every time I've attempted to broaden my horizons and meet other gay guys my age, I get really disapointed at the fact that I feel like i'm hanging out with one of my girl friends, only they seem to be worse when it comes to the drama. I don't use words like, "Fierce", and I can't imitate a typical gay voice for ****, haha... my straight friends do it better.

I can relate to you, because before this summer, I didn't feel like I belonged ANYWHERE. I joined at frat in college, and I got along GREAT with the guys, but after I left there, and came back home, some of my guy friends from highschool didn't know how to treat me as an equal.... so I looked around to see who else was out there, and I managed to find the best friends I think I'll ever find.

I think most of the guys that act steriotypical gay are either too big of ******* to be themselves that they just conform to bad examples that make themselves stick out. And then there are the ones that are just straight up crazy.

The first person that was gay that I considered close to as a friend wasn't real enough for me. And then he got a boyfriend, and the day I met his boyfriend, the boyfriend broke up with him, and started persuing me!!! I don't know why gays seem unable to NOT cause drama, but I've never been a fan of drama, and I sure as hell won't put up with it. I don't talk to either of them anymore, because that's not normal. I find comfort in straight people, but you just gotta find the right ones that will acknowlege that you're normal, and treat you like they treat their straight friends.

Keep looking for people man, and I promise you'll find your place. Be confident, and remember that just because you're gay, doesn't mean that defines you. That's SUCH a little part of you, and although that's hard to realize, it's completely true. Be Proud... but not Loud... you'll get further in life, and be respected more for it.

You seem like a really cool person though, I like you're style, so you fit in my book at least.

It actually sounds like you've fallen for the belief that "that" stereotype of a gay person is what a gay person is supposed to be.

Everyone is their own person. You have you're tastes and everyone else has their tastes. Saying that the description you gave is what all gay guys are supposed to dress and act like is pretty narrow. What about the gay guys in Dallas Texas or Utah? Are they supposed to follow the stereotype you mentioned above or follow the Country Western gay guy stereotype because they live in that region?

You fit in your own tastes, don’t fall for the false hype. The people that emulate some fashion model will find out rather quickly that their clothes are out of style in a couple months. Then it's back to spending more money.

I suggest, if you do go out to bars or gay events, start talking to a number of different people. You'll find that, even though everyone is different you'll meet guys similar enough to your tastes and style.

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Not at all. If anything I felt more pressure to conform to typically masculine gender expectations. I don't really fit very well into either the "gay stereotypes" nor the expected gender behavior of my society, but from what I remember, I always felt more pressure to "be a man," or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean, than the whole gay subcultural thing... and it's not even like I'm particularily effeminate.

Don't you hate it when people ask you if you're the "guy" or "girl" in the relationship?

Here's the deal: people like their labels. Unfortunately, you can't blame them, its a matter of ignorance/lack of education.

I'm a full out lesbian, built like one too. I still wear dresses, and makeup, and sometimes I even like girlish things. So yes, I know how it feels.

Here are your options:

1) Hang out with girls (lesbians will love you and so will the straight ones).

or

2) Find better straight and gay guys. I don't know where you are from, and I don't know the acceptance rate, but there has to be SOME guys who will accept you for who you are. If they don't, well, it's their loss isn't it? Do you really want to be friends with guys like that anyway?

Just be comfortable with who you are. Don't change anything for other people. If they can't handle it, shame on them.

You're not alone! I wear jeans with hoodies a lot too. And I also care about fashion but I don't run around announcing it to the world. Don't feel like you have to conform to silly gay stereotypes. I mean in a sense we all follow certain stereotypes, it's just up to you whether or not you think you have to follow every single one. Also, don't feel like you have to change who you are to fit in! If poeple don't accept you for you, then they aren't worth yout time. =]

Dude, you are just fine believe me. I know fashion; I know lyrics to very few Madonna songs; Used to work in retail but hate it soo much now I would slap a gay person that works there; and I dress mostly in jeans for comfort, NOT for society.

Once again, YOU ARE FINE THE WAY YOU ARE!

I worked construction for 15 years. Believe me when I say there are plenty of gay guys in jeans and steel toed boots out there that fit no stereotype, except maybe that of oneof the Village People, with tool belt and hard hat.

My hair is over 2 foot long and purely the heck is the suited thank you to gown? purely simply by fact there's a stereotype, would not make it the top all/ be demanding approximately all in any type. I gown the way that i'm comfortable. I placed on my hair as I please and not what others choose. and albeit, i do no longer supply a rat's fat in the back of who "believes" i'm a lesbian. Sisper

NO.

I honestly can't stand gay stereotypes, and I'll be honest, I'm prejudiced against gays who do fit those stereotypes. I don't hate them, they just irritate me. Yes, that's wrong, but the reality is that everyone has some sort of prejudice, and my prejudice is against fellow gays who insist on being a walking talking stereotype.

Well, not just that I do male stuff also like fix the roof, fix the bike brakes and work programming computers (most of gays here are software testers, none of them do program).

But luckily there are some guys attracted to our profile of straight looking guys.

For hanging out, my sissy friends thinks I'm boring sometimes but they like me anyway.

So I don't feel any pressure to bond to stereotypes and I'm just myself.