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Grandma Pat <><
Lv 6
Grandma Pat <>< fragte in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · vor 1 Jahrzehnt

What do you think of this? (Be nice)

Alone in the Dark

I walk and I talk, throughout the day

But at night, in the quiet,

I am alone in the dark,

Where no light shines

I look for the hope that once I knew

But at night, in the quiet,

I am alone in the dark,

Where no light shines

I long for the faith that I once knew

But at night, in the quiet

I am alone in the dark

Where no light shines

Update:

I don't know where this came from

What a ?

Update 2:

Have never written anything before.

This just popped into my head this A.M.

Now I sort of wish I'd left it there.

Update 3:

me: Always has to be one like you,

doesn't there. Rude.

Update 4:

nobody: I am saved through Christ.

Update 5:

misspoem: Your right, without the dark how would we appreciate the light, without the valleys, how would we appreciate the mountain tops?

Update 6:

paulina s: Do I want to know what EMO, means?

Update 7:

LeslieAnn: I would love to do more, but when I finished this, it was like it was gone. I thought of adding a line about Peace & one about Love, but thought it would get worn out.

I've never done anything like this before, & probably won't again.

Thank you for your kindness.

God bless. <><

13 Antworten

Relevanz
  • LeslieAnn
    Lv 6
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt
    Beste Antwort

    Pat,

    I think I understand what you are experiencing. I'm a Christian and we all go through periods of questions and doubts.

    Do you think you could perhaps add some more to it to let us in on what is causing you to feel as you do? I like what you have started with and just because certain elements of your poem have been stated before it doesn't make your feelings less valid - or your experiences.

    Emo means a person who is highly emotional or going through a moody period - it can be negative or merely descriptive depending on attitude of the person using it.

    Too bad about the rudeness of a few, so unnecessary, so childish!

    Quelle(n): One who has experienced doubts and low seasons in my faith - as well as many wonderful times of joy and peace.
  • misspoem
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    nights and their darkness are the shelter of every torured soul!! why to abuse the beauty of the moon and the feelings of its solitary. . . without these dark hours we would not even appretiate the sun rays nor any could write a poem. . .

  • nobody
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    It's deep, that for sure. Reminds me of Evanescence. It voices the deepest need in every human being: salvation

  • tiny dan
    Lv 4
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    its very good

    reminds me of some dickenson classics mixed with henry thorough ...

    i would say you have a good chance of being published ,

    submit to the 'writersguild.com' for consideration ,

    my girlfriend is a member longstanding and they publish new talent all the time

    good luck

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  • peace☮ .love♥ .row—▄
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    its great. i like the way that you kept the last three lines in each verse, but changed the first. maybe a few more verses?...

  • amada
    Lv 7
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    It is nice.

    Could be turned into a song.

    But too many repetitions for good poetry.

  • traveling supervisor
    Lv 5
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    I certainly enjoyed it

  • C W
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    It's Ok

  • lwrnctrnt
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    its good

  • Amanda P
    vor 1 Jahrzehnt

    that's quite good :)

    Quelle(n): mee
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