Okay they're not great - I didn't laugh at them - but I smiled (groaned at least) at them.... Maybe you will.?

For our silver wedding anniversary I decided to book a room at the hotel where my husband and I had spent our honeymoon.

I was thrilled when my husband said he had bought me something see-through as a present.

But when I opened the box it contained a set of Pyrex dishes.

While I was sitting in my hospital bed waiting to go down to the operating theatre, I saw the nurse approach a women in another bed and ask her to sign a consent form.

“ I’m still not used to signing this name; I only got married six months ago and it used to be long,” said the patient, brandishing the pen.

“Oh” said the nurse. “What was your name?”

“Long” replied the patient.

Despite winning a ferry trip in a raffle, my brother was distinctly downcast.

When he informed my mother, she was thrilled with the prize, but her enthusiasm wasn’t shared by my brother. “I don’t know why you’re so pleased,” he complained. “We’re all too big to travel.”

My mother reread the notification letter aloud: “Your prize consists of a return trip for four foot passengers.”