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How to rewrite this sentence, so it makes sene?
Moving to Berlin in 2008, I personally observed the effects of the economical crunch on the country.
How to rewrite this sentence, so it makes sense?
sorry for the mistake in the title
2 Antworten
- RichardLv 7vor 6 Jahren
It is OK as it is, but a more usual form would be:
When I moved to Berlin in 2008 I was personally able to observe the effects of the economic pressures on the country (you could say crunch instead of pressures, but it would not be a usual use of the word in this context).
- DonaldLv 7vor 6 Jahren
When I moved to Berlin in 2008, I saw the effects of the economic crunch on Germany.
Explanation:
"Moving to Berlin" is convoluted. Be direct.
Delete "personally." It's not needed. It's clear the reference is to you.
Use "saw" rather than "observed." Be simple and direct.
Use "economic," not "economical." They're two different words.
Use "Germany." Readers may not know you're referring to Germany.
Hope that helps.
