PLEASE! I really need help with this... (Part 2)?

After this incident, she had called me and I was just pissed and hurt and I took it all out on her. I hated White people at that time. I hate myself so much for it now. Anyways, fast forward to now and this is my first time contacting her in over 2 years. We've only talked for a few hours, on and off, and it was all small talk, just catching up. But, honestly, she has been on my mind every day since then and I regret it so much. I look at her pictures and I still love her. I've changed a lot since then, being older and more matured now. But I'm also really depressed, through my past (and some things happening now) and she was the only one that made me happy (but because others said nobody could love me or that I didn't deserve it, I believed that). The thing is though - she doesn't know why we broke up. I never told her what was going on with me, rather, I pushed her away. Now, I would do anything to have her back. ANYTHING. But, who knows how she feels. I wasn't sure if she was excited to talk to me yesterday. She sorta was, but I don't know. Does she still love me? Or even LIKE me? I just don't know what to do or say. So please, help me...I love her...