Appropriate wedding gift size?

On your details, if you're determined to go by the "cover your plate" thing, can I ask how you calculate what that plate cost? Do you get a discount if you don't finish your green beans?

There's a reason this statement makes sane people roll their eyes.

As for the rest, if you can easily afford an over the top gift, by all means do so. But I don't think you've made the case you can easily afford. Also, when I got married, a gift this large would have made me uncomfortable.

The "cover your plate" rule is bullshit because you shouldn't even know how much the couple spent, or even have any ideas how much they spent. Furthermore, YOU ARE A GUEST!!!!!!!!! You are in absolutely NO WAY responsible for how much they spent or helping them recoup any of those costs.

No matter who is getting married or how you are related to them, the correct amount to give is whatever you can without it being a burden on your own finances. So if you are looking at what bills you have coming up and giving $1000 would leave your short or in a bind if an emergency were to happen, then that's too much, and you give less. Plan in such a way that you won't be screwed should something come up and you need that $1000

That's a really really big gift - you're a great brother.

You might consider giving her a couple things however -

first, a couple hundred dollars in a wedding card for now.

Secondly, a picture of the two of you as kids, wrapped up just for her. Put a little note on the back of the frame, "I'll always have your back - open in case of emergency only" - and between the frame and the photo, put a couple of hundred dollar bills.

You don't have to give her a thousand dollars now- she'll always know you're there for her just in case. For now, it sounds like 5 or 6 would be more than enough - and you need the rest. That'll be fine.

There is no "cover your plate" rule of etiquette. It's made up by entitled 20-something couples. If you want to follow it, find out how much they're paying, and double that.

I don't think $1000 is an appropriate sized gift for anyone to give anyone. I think $100-$200 is plenty.

You give what you can comfortably and willingly afford. The price "per plate" has nothing to do with what you decide to give, the reception is the couple's/family's thank you for attending. When a friend gives you a gift, do you pay them for it?

$1000 is an unusually large gift, even in your circumstances. Its extremely generous especially considering the expenses you will have as a "maid of honor". You need to budget for a dress\salon and the bachelorete party. $500 would normally be more than enough with $100-$200 being average.

Wedding party members don't necessarily give any more than average because they bear significant expense and time just being in the wedding party.

$1000 is a lot of money. If you can afford it, fine, but if you really are stretching it here then don't. I think $500 is a very generous family gift, but again, it is up to you.

That is way to much.

You give what you could afford.

You realized 200 or 300 dollars would be more than enough.

You should give what you could afford, if you could afford 1000 dollars then give it. That is not a solid middle class gift.

You could give her a gift she could remember with some money if you like.

My favorite gift at my wedding was a pair of Waterford crystal, with a note to toast your anniversary with.

Instead of trying to give way to much money, how about buying a gift that she would have for the rest of her marriage, when she sees it, she thinks of you. Plus you could give money, if you need to. Money does not last, get something that last

Being the younger sister myself, I honestly wouldn't expect my brother to be thinking this much into it, honestly, haha.

I feel like "thoughtful" trumps "cost" any day- if you need to impress for social reasons, do so, but as her brother, you can kind of get away with giving her anything, as long as it is meaningful.