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Please take a look at the rough first paragraph of this essay about me!?

Here is my first paragraph, if you can edit for grammar and awkward wording that would be fabulous! Really any edits would be greatly appreciated. Keep in mind this is rough!

I imagine that when most students my age peer into their early years, they’d enter into a dream-like sequence fantasy that was their childhood. Flashes of running through fields, throwing around the baseball and spending hours upon hours playing outdoors appear. That however is not what I see when I look back into my childhood. Instead of spending hours playing sports and running amuck, I spent hours in my literary fantasies nestled up with my many books.

THANKS!

2 Antworten

Relevanz
  • Anonym
    vor 8 Jahren
    Beste Antwort

    i Like it very much. I liked to read it.

    However, I would say that word 'fantacy' should not be used for past - because past is a fact - not fantacy ...

    Instead of books - u can say names of some authors / books.

    example.

    <<literary fantasies nestled up with my "try author / book names here">>

  • vor 8 Jahren

    I would say a baseball instead of the baseball. But it's super good for a draft so far!

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