Fosseridge goes Lib Dem, please critique my po-em?

Question

Al Sepert
Lib dems win in Fosseridge By Al Sepert.

Lib Dems win in Fosseridge
The headline had been writ
maybe a bit too hastily 
they should have waited a bit

Lib Dems win in Fosseridge
The copy was perfection.
Ready to go in the Standard
Front page or gossip section

Lib Dems win in Fosseridge
Lynden Stowe's Tory's humbled
We can't afford to park our cars
in Ciren, voters grumbled.

"The Tories they are out of step
with the needs of Fosseridge ward
For what they want is somewhere cheap
In Ciren to park their cars.

"Its time to end the Cash Cow
Ciren carparks have become,"
And this battle cry was adopted as
the Lib Dems campaign slo-gan.

For voters at Todenham, Longborough
and Bourton on the Hill.
all they want is to park their cars 
in Ciren without a huge bill.

In Sezincote and Donnington
Condicote and Broadwell
The whole place was buzzing
about the lake 31 infill.

Cullimore and Watermark
In the waterpark
And the harsh treatment of Esmond
Infuenced where they stuck their mark

So when you read your paper
 please be aware that.
Lib Dems win in Fosseridge 
is a trifle thin on facts

For though the Lib Dems beat the Indy
by some seventy votes
Julian Beale Conservative
Was the winning bloke

And not by small margin, 
not quite by a landslide
but over double the votes 
the Lib Dem got 
Three hundred and seventy nine.

Conservative 379
Libral Democrat 168
Inependant 98
Conservative hold.

Anonym · Accepted Answer

sorry dude
but if we want to put politics in poetics we need to do it in a more lyrical way, if you can make it sing you can say anything, this though, bored me before I got started as I am not political and shy away from long sermonesc or political renderings of poetry

hats off to you  for trying, but satire would suit it better???

? · Answer

Very brave to put down in excellent verse a political message. Many of the great poets of the past commented through verse on what their political masters were doing and this carrieson a great tradtion - I think this genre should be explored and become more popular.
The point that you make is that the Lib Dems have made progress (actually having a say in Parliament is a great achievement) but tories still thump the drum but it's still good that a 'minor' party gets to voice the opinions of millions who never get a word said on their behalf.
I like the repeated phrase, 'Lib Dems win in Fosseridge', this holds the poem together and the final stanza tells what is really going on. This is well done, you must try some more political verse, it's thin on the ground at the moment. A really good effort.

sarah · Answer

Well certainly prohibition is not working, however I particularly would not trust the day-to-day Fail to appropriately file the insurance policies of any get together instead of the Tories! But even so, I believe your evaluation that this is a vote winner as an alternative than a vote loser is a reasonable one. Michael, that can be a obstacle in the Netherlands, where smoking can also be prohibited in public residences and cafés, but cannabis is decriminalised.

Fosseridge goes Lib Dem, please critique my po-em?

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