Yahoo Clever wird am 4. Mai 2021 (Eastern Time, Zeitzone US-Ostküste) eingestellt. Ab dem 20. April 2021 (Eastern Time) ist die Website von Yahoo Clever nur noch im reinen Lesemodus verfügbar. Andere Yahoo Produkte oder Dienste oder Ihr Yahoo Account sind von diesen Änderungen nicht betroffen. Auf dieser Hilfeseite finden Sie weitere Informationen zur Einstellung von Yahoo Clever und dazu, wie Sie Ihre Daten herunterladen.

Jo Spumoni
Lv 7
Jo Spumoni fragte in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · vor 9 Jahren

Can you give me feedback on this poem?

I wrote a poem about making tea, and I just don't have a good ear for poetry. This might be dumb and it might be great and I just haven't the slightest idea. Feedback? Thoughts?

I watch the bitter liquid steam

And slowly drift into a dream

Where the rising warmth is not

The water boiling in the pot

But is instead your hand on mine.

Then I hear the kettle scream

And I awaken from my dream

Alone, except for warm caffeine.

Update:

Yeah, the last three lines are a bit fishy I guess. There is caffeine in some teas though. Breakfast tea has a fair amount.

3 Antworten

Relevanz
  • PANDORA Πανδώρα
    Lv 7
    vor 9 Jahren
    Beste Antwort

    Whoa, what a dream!

    I like it, and it certainly ain't dumb!

    Jung & Freud would have a field-day with this one...lol

    Quelle(n): 16.05.2012
  • ?
    Lv 5
    vor 9 Jahren

    I don't think there is caffeine in tea. I could be wrong.

    It's nice except for the 5th line - Actually - the last three lines could be redone. But it very nice and very creative!

  • Anonym
    vor 9 Jahren

    That's really good! I enjoy some nice poetry :) I liked it :)

Haben Sie noch Fragen? Jetzt beantworten lassen.