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SHORT STORY HELP, help with english creative writing coursework?

right, i've created a story for my A-Level coursework and i need to improve it, because quite frankly it's a load of crap.

i want to keep the same story line but change the plot a little because it's due in tomorrow! it needs to be 1500 words so i can't go in to too much detail!

right the plot is about a 10 year old orphan who has lived in a care home his whole life; the story starts with him getting abused by a care worker to which he is sent to his room. In hs room he begins to talk to his imaginary friend; a young peculiar child. His imaginary friend directs him out of the window and towards the forest outside the care home. Scared and confused the boy follows his imaginary friend only to get lost and fall over. Once he falls, he sees he has tripped over a dead body.. after much confusion he recognises the body belongs to his imaginary friend Andy to which he realises his imaginary friend is actually a ghost. After a care worker named John runs after the boy, he finds him standing next to the body. He calls the police, the care home is closed and the boy is adopted by John and lives happily ever after.

I just don't feel comfortable with this story, can anyone give me some suggestions to adjust the plot to make it more interesting.. maybe like a donnie darko plot, or something good becuase my teacher didn't particularly like it either..

2 Antworten

Relevanz
  • vor 9 Jahren
    Beste Antwort

    I liked it all up to the end. I don't like your happy ending. He should trip over the dead body, John finds him and thinks he killed Andy, so he calls the police and your main character ends up in an insane asylum. That seems more Donnie Darko-ish to me.

  • Anonym
    vor 9 Jahren

    Maybe the boy could try and find out what happened to Andy, like how he died or got killed? There could be something in the forest killing people/animals and stuff...

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