How good is this lyrics set? Being myself....?

Question

Here's lyrics I wrote. Please look at them, enjoy them and tell me what you think.

I’ll Just Be Myself Tonight

In the past I’ve been known to force the action
To try and get in a little quick satisfaction
But you’re so different, girl, so much more than appetite
I think that I’ll just be myself tonight

In days of old I would screen and analyze
Then mysteriously I would don my disguise
Never to return by the warmth of new light 
I want more, so I want to be myself tonight

What is there to gain?
With love in disdain,
One seed of grain
Bears gift with the rain.
Life is so plain
When love can’t remain.
Distributing pain -
But never again.

No more will I live under dark pretensions
With layers of charm wrapped around false intentions
I see the right and wrong of love, and I’ll do it right
Finally seeing myself, being myself tonight

Your Uncle Dodge
Laughing Dolphin Music

Awesome Writer · Accepted Answer

Your songs are brilliant!  Thanks for sharing.

Hal · Answer

the message is a good one. Flows nicely for the most part.
A couple of things that stand out to me. 

Ist stanza 3rd line too many syllables. I know you want it to fit with 
"tonight" in the last line so I thought instead of "so much more than 
appetite (which seems too many syllables), perhaps it could be
"with you it feels right" 

But you're so different, girl, with you it feels right 
I think I'll just be myself tonight (leave out the word "that")
See if that flows a little better.

When I do a song the lyrics have to flow with the beat. 
If there are to many syllables it's hard to fit them in
while actually singing the song. Just my opinion.
I think it's pretty cool though. Good job.

Kids in America Whoa · Answer

That is really good! Could be a catchy song.

How good is this lyrics set? Being myself....?

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