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How come nice guys are so dumb when it comes to bad women?
A good friend of mine is starting a divorce. He is a sweet guy (with ADHD) who treats his wife way better than she deserves. He is a Sergeant in the Army and she spends like he is a Captain. We have watched her yell and him and he just takes it. Now she is leaving him to go be with a guy she is having an affair with. AND SHE HAS CONVINCED HIM THAT IT IS ALL HIS FAULT! He made her cheat because he doesn't satisfy her emotional needs? We have all tried to convince him that it is her not him but he is convinced she is right and he hates himself for it. Any suggestions on how to help this guy. He has promised to start counseling but any help or advise would be greatly appreciated.
2 Antworten
- Warren DLv 7vor 10 JahrenBeste Antwort
About 34 years ago I was where he is.
There's not much I can suggest for him to do. His emotional health pretty much winds up being his problem and he just needs to learn how to feel better about himself. Getting a divorce is a very good start.
As a friend, all I can suggest for you to do is to continue to be his friend. He needs to know that people care about him. Also, level with him. Tell him (gently of course) what you see. When I divorced my wife one of the first things I had to learn was who and what I was and what my value as a person is. I did that.
Once his divorce is final, it also helps if he can meet some nice women who will appreciate him. (These don't have to be marriage prospects--in fact, I think it's better if they aren't. He needs at least a year of single life, and two or more would be even better.) If you can help out with introductions that might be a great thing to do.
You sound like a very nice person, and I appreciate your caring about him and seeing what you see in him and in his marriage. Continue to be a friend. It is worth far more than you can ever realize.
