What the the true reason "why" I still cry over my first marriage's relationship?

Hey (askername) You have problems in your marriage, no one likes to be told that his feelings or opinions are worthless. Very often though, married couples do just that when they argue. Unfortunately, this hurts. It may even create a damaging rift in the union. You need to acknowledge your spouse's feelings as valid. You don't have to agree with them, but you do need to understand that's how he or she is feeling at the moment. I know you feel like what do I need to do. Well I've been there and it is know fun but don't give up keep hope alive. From my reasearch I have learned alot an so can you. I thought maybe I could help you, maybe this is something you might like.

Well Good Luck

I wouldn't go so far as to say that having a baby can ruin even the best relationship. However having a baby is a major strain. Think of pregnancy--- even in the best situation pregnancies are a bit difficult. It is just hard on a woman have a person living inside her. Sure it can be wonderful but it is also very difficult. And that is something that the husband can't completely share in. It is not like he can take away her morning sickness for a few hours or share in the heartburn. And if complications in a pregnancy occur then that stress and inequality is even heighten more. When I had my complications with my first child it was very difficult. I was so jealous of my husband for not having to deal with the pain, the fear and the sickness all the time. He got to go on with his life. My life stopped as I knew it and I had to think of my health 24/7. Then there is the birth and the weeks soon following. That is stressful. Babies don't sleep at first. You have to learn to sleep with just a few hours every night if that much. And if you are staying home with the kid it never ends. If you work then that is a stress in and of itself dealing with having to leave your baby while you work. Then the kid gets older and potty training and tantrums etc. With every age there is a new stress. Being a parent is the most wonderful thing in the world. But there are parts that people don't talk about. They don't talk about how difficult it is. How much less time you have for each other. It is all about the baby especially in the beginning.

You sound extremely bored in your marriage and after almost 27 yrs that is not surprising. People have a tendency to become lazy in their relationships after long periods of time. The older we get and the longer we are married it seems we dont have to do as much to nurture the relationship anymore and take for granted the other is is "fine" with it.

Roz, you seem to have a nice husband and wonderful children......hes just gotten "date lazy"..lol If he wont plan the following weeks date...then YOU plan it. If he hates going out, buy some sexy lingerie and bottle of wine..he cant say no to that...lol There are loads of things you can do to spice things a up a bit that include going out OR staying home.

Hope that helps.

if you take a step back and look at yourself.. it's not the surroundings that's making you unhappy, it's yourself.. you expect too much and expect answers for everything..

your first husband did you wrong now you think current hubby should kiss the floor you walk on..

you should be thankful and happy that you have a decent life with a decent man and beautiful kids.

what is it that you're still holding on to.. ex hubby has already moved on and not dared look back, you should be glad you are now with a real husband.

why must you plan dates on a weekly basis, you're married to the fella, set a date at home, rent movies, cook dinner together.. eat a the table and have a conversation.. men don't think like women so if you wanna go on dates plan them yourself, be happy he goes along with you..

bottom line is, see what you now have before you end up ruining it

Hi Roz

I think it because it's your past, and you can't change it, no matter what. You could be right, that you might not satisfied with your current marriage. In this case you should talk to your current husband, sit down and just talk and tell him what bothers you.

I hope this is helps

Most people who hit a lottery go back to their first love if they're still living and looking good!