englische erörterung hiilfe!?

Question

ich habe diese frage schonmal gestellet aber ich habe keine antwort bekommen... also hier nochmal XD.....   also es muss nicht ALLES korrigiert werden nur so paar sachen die euch aufallen..... bitte dasb ist sehr wichtig....
joa.. ich glaub die frage sagt schon alles das wäre echt sehr nett . und bitte nciht erschrecken ich habe echt große probleme in englischen texten :(
Einleitung: You often hear people say that an exchange have only disadvantages. So the question is: Is it so?
Hauptteil:First an exchange is very expensive and a lot of familys can´t pay this.
secondly when you do an exchange for a year you can´t see your family and friends.
But an exchange have a lot of anvantagesous, too . for example you meet new friends and if you want you can also have contact with those from germany. secondly you learn in an exchange a new culture of a country. Moreover you can learn the language faster. Finally is this a positiv experiense that you woun´t forget.
Schluss: After looking at both sides, i think when you have interest and enough money to do an exchange you should do this.

HySt2812 · Accepted Answer

(1)((personal remarks)) (2)CORRECT IT, ADD IT, CHANGE IT
You often hear people say that a STUDENT exchange haS only disadvantages. So the 
question is: Is it REALLY AS BAD AS THAT? LET ME DISCUSS A FEW POINTS ONLY.
((You needn't write "Hauptteil" in English, that is childish.Every reader knows that it is the 
beginning of the main part. But : If your teacher w a n t s  it, write it. (S)he gives you the 
mark)): First point((Your "first" and "secondly" is correct,but I mentioned "points" to express 
that you should stress((solltest betonen))that you would only select(auswählen) s o m e  of  
a long list of points)): an exchange is very expensive , BUT IT IS EXPENSIVE FOR BOTH 
SIDES, and a lot of FAMIL=> I E S<=  IN BOTH COUNTRIES can´t pay((AFFORD [[(ä)FFORD,s.leisten)) this.
second POINT: When you ARE AN exchange STUDENT for a year you can´t see your 
family and friends. ((It is true,but at the same time silly(albern): You are old enough to know 
that, and mobile phones have already been invented (sind schon erfunden worden). 
Thousands of high school and college students have "survived"(überlebt) their life abroad 
("im Ausland" -oder auch "ins", aber nicht hier) und will never forget that part of their life.)) 
But an exchange haS a lot of ADVANTAGES, too, !!!(( "Meeting friends" is point 2  if you speak 
about advantages and disadvantages of a student exchange. Point 1, much more important, is language,life and culture of your host country.So change the sentences! )) ...for example you 
meet new friends and if you want you can also have contact with those from Germany. 
((end of point !2))
WHAT REALLY SPEAKS FOR A STUDENT EXCHANGE: you learn ((!!!word order!!))
THE LIFE AND culture of  YOU HOST country and ,WHAT IS MORE: THE MOST 
IMPORTANT ASPECT: you can learn the language faster and IN MUCH WIDER FIELDS OF 
LIFE. Finally ((word order!!)) this IS a positivE   experience that you WILL NOT= WON'T 
((better: WILL NEVER ))forget.
Schluss(( Forget this,if your teacher allows you the freedom.Any reader knows what it is )) : 
After looking at both sides, I think when you ARE interestED  and HAVE enough money to JOIN((mitmachen)) a STUDENT exchange you should do this.

englische erörterung hiilfe!?

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