can i get some help from parents of *true* ADHD preschoolers?

Question

first off, WHERE IS THE OFF BUTTON!???  i'd be happy with the mute button at this point!

my family doctor has categorically diagnosed her with ADHD and says it's one of the worst cases he's seen in someone so young.

honestly, she never EVER just walks anywhere, she has to run, jump, skip, hop.  when she sits and watches tv, she's rocking, tapping, bobbing her head from side to side, hiking the chair across the floor, even standing on the floor with her bum up and her head on the ground watching the TV from between her knees and flapping her arms back and forth (that's what she's doing now).  

yesterday, she had one hand on the top of a large water cooler bottle that was standing on the floor - it was full - and she ran around it in circles for easily a half-hour at a time.  she knocked it over when she got dizzy and i'm not kidding:  she just went to the end of the bottle and picked it back up like it was nothing!  then she perched herself on top of it and balanced with her feet on the shoulders of the bottle.

she's 3-1/2 and very large:  47-1/2lbs, 42", size 13 feet, size 6x clothing (except for undies, those are size 4 or 5)  - height of a 50% 5-1/2yr old, weight of a 50% six and a half year old.  is this maybe related?

i have a rebounder for her that she'll jump on for hours (when she was a baby, she loved her jolly jumper - it was common for her to bounce away like a mad thing for literally hours on end until she got too heavy for it at 10 months - they only go up to 25lbs but we managed to make it last until she was 28lbs and it just wouldn't bounce any more, just groaned pathetically.  this is the very first time she was put into it when she was 5-1/2mo old (it's a crap vid - what can i say):  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t0v0PZsv0Y

she NEVER slowed down from that.

right now, she's sitting on a laundry basket full of clean (of course!) laundry, naked and covered with coconut liquid soap, rocking the basket back and forth while gargling with blackcurrant juice.

if i try to put the brakes on her, it's a pompeiian explosion that she's perfectly capable of sustaining for 2hrs plus (her record is 7 hrs).

every morning, it's a mind-scraping hassle to get the clothes on her and the breakfast in her.  she used to dress herself - she doesn't any more.  literally, the time it takes to get one sock on her foot all the way, she's thought of something or seen something and off she goes.

at the day care, they say she's "perfectly fine" but i've watched when nobody knows i've arrived yet and i've noticed they do spend a lot of time keeping her on track or seated at the table to finish a craft or a meal - she's just not a spoiled brat like some of the others so i guess they don't view her as a problem.

redirection - doesn't work.

time out - total disaster (that experiment resulted in a cracked door frame)

her diet is much cleaner than the usual kid's (*loves* her veggies and she's still nursing) - i don't give her red-coloured candies, cookies, etc, and she NEVER gets pop.  i will not be putting her on meds because i don't believe that a 3-1/2 yr old should be taking anti-psychotics.

any tips or techniques you've found that's worked?

Sit&#39;nTeach&#39;nNanny · Accepted Answer

LOL, all I can say is...best of luck to you! We're dealing with this with my nephew (I lived with them for a year when he was four) and I am still there three days a week to get him from school and help him with homework, etc. He's ten now. He can hold himself together at school, but all hell breaks loose at home. He sounds a lot like your daughter. 

All I can say is this--advocate for her now before she is too far gone. For the longest time my aunt (who is a teacher) stuck my cousin in Catholic school, figuring that would help things because they're more structured. They didn't have the resources to help him and there was no one but her to advocate for him and he didn't get assistance until the end of last year (4th grade). Luckily, he's extremely bright, so he wasn't academically behind. Had he been even average, he'd have been behind. 

I am a teacher and I work with special ed students each day. A large chunk of my case load is students with ADHD and another chunk is students with autism. Some of them overlap. Not to alarm you, but I would get a child psychologist's opinion on your daughter. Gagging on certain foods and loving to be naked and liking her head on the floor and her body in certain positions are all indicative of sensory issues. The gargling and the rocking, the hand flapping, even the running so she can feel the weight of her body coming through her feet and up her legs and into her torso as she moves... this doesn't sound anything like ADHD. It sounds a lot like she may be on the autism or aspergers spectrum to me. With fits/rages like those lasting that long, even kids with ADHD usually stop after an hour or two. Seven at your child's age is beyond ADHD. I would definitely go see a child psychologist, and take the family doctor's word with a grain of salt.

You may want to look into a weighted vest/blanket, try an exercise ball that she can sit on at home, one of those small trampolines to keep in the living room so she can jump when she is feeling a lot of extra energy coming on, keep a tupperware of rice around for her to play with (you can hide things in there for her to "find"). It's a great tool for kids who like that stimulation and it's easy to vacuum up if it gets spilled.

EDIT: For what it's worth, the high protein, no carb diet works for my cousin and he hates it because all he craves is carbs. He goes through the house looking for crackers, bagels, bread, etc. He's been that way since he was an infant. But, he has ADHD. 

2 of my extremely autistic kids--we're talking low functioning, one is on the no red dye, no dairy, no gluten, the other is not...I see no difference on the days he is allowed special treats and the days he is on his diet.

tamara k ♥ her family · Answer

I'm not a parent to a ADHD child, but my brother has it pretty bad. Like it sounds your LO is, he was heavy on the Hyperactive part of it!

I hate to say this, but there is no off button, or mute button- the only way to slow them down is with drugs which I agree with you on them being a BAD thing! My brother was managed using behavioural therapy and diet. I've worked with ADHD children who took the drugs and they were ALL prone to violent mood swings when the drugs started to wear off and there is mounting evidence that the ADHD drugs are strongly linked to people becoming addicted to the heavy illegal drugs.

What we found helped-
Exercise and outside time LOTS of it. Doesn't do a thing to wear them down BUT it does make them more amenable to a little bit of quiet time later in the day, and if she is outside YOU aren't stressing so bad about her breaking things while bouncing off the walls!

Restricting refined sugars, use raw sugar where possible. My brother always got worse when he had white or superfine sugars. 
Checking food additives- it's not just red that sets them off! My brother was fine on red colouring but went ballistic on artificial preservatives, yellow and green colours. The colours that REALLY set him off were Tartrazine, Sunset Yellow and Chlorophyll. Yep- he couldn't have ANY green veges because they sent him feral!
He also did better on a high carbohydrate diet, he'd be calmer if he was fed complex carbohydrates than if he ate a lot of protein. 

In your daughters case, try eliminating yellow or green foods for a while and see if it effects her- just suggesting it because they did have a drastic effect on my brother.

drchee1 · Answer

Wow!  Where to start?  I have no doubt that there are days where you find yourself  completely exasperated and at the end of your rope!!!  

A couple of things I noticed, and am not terribly surprised about.  First, it seems she's "better" in daycare than at home, possibly for a few reasons...she gets to see what other kids are doing and may be more likely to tailor her behavior to what's "expected" in the daycare, she's constantly kept busy or entertained (which will certainly keep her happier), and probably isn't able to get away with as much as she can with her mommy!!!(this is not a commentary on your parenting style, it's just that kids know they can get away more with moms and know how to push mom and dads buttons better!!)

Second, she seems to be constantly on the move, so keep her busy!!!! It doesn't sound like you have a lot of choice in this anyway, but children who have ADHD seem to do better when constantly occupied.  Make a list of "anytime" activities you can have your daughter engage in to keep her busy, and add to the list whenever you think of something new or discover something she's able to attend to.

"Music doth calm the savage beast"...music can tend to help busy kids get out their excess energy and help them focus by giving a "distraction" in the background.  Playing some minimally stimulating music in the background during everyday activities can help to give her some distraction and may calm some of the hyperactivity.

Special diets, omegas, decreased carbs, etc. have NOT been shown to overall improve ADHD symptomatology, but this is something you should discuss more with your doctor.

Finally, talk to your pediatrician AT LENGTH about what's involved in medication.  NOT antipsychotic medications, but stimulants (like Ritalin) that have been safely used in pediatrics since the 1950s (VERY VERY well studied).  I don't medicate children under 5 years of age, and even then VERY rarely, but it's good to know options for the future and find out what's involved in medicating a child...I am NOT suggesting medicine for your child, but information for you to dispel the myths that surround medicating children with severe ADHD.

This is not a diagnosis that we make lightly as pediatricians, and we KNOW how hard it can be for parents, so it's important to take care of yourself, and realize you have a bright, active girl who's craving "stimulus" at a higher rate than other children.  Most kids with ADHD turn out to be bright, well adjusted, highly successful adults, and any treatment you consider is to help them get there!!!

Good luck and good parenting

Anonym · Answer

I don't have any experience with ADHD in my family, but I've read a few things that say Omega 3's help children with ADHD.  
My cousin is 3 and they think he may have ADD and he takes Omega's and he's done better.
It's no cure, but it helps!
Wish I could help you out!  Sounds like you have your hands full!
Good Luck!

can i get some help from parents of true ADHD preschoolers?

4 Antworten