bereavement note for a parent who lost a child?

My 9 year old niece died on Father's Day in 2006. My co-worker lost her 18yo son a couple years later and I wrote to her explaining things I did to help myself and grieving family members.

I told her my experience, how peacefull they are right now, and how close at heart they will always be. Offered myself if she ever needed to talk or vent that I was just a phone call away. I told her how we still visit her, and all the fond memories we will always have. Put in there how much he affected your son's life and how great of a friend he was....how your son will remember the time they ........

My strong advice is this.....and this keeps me going........tell her that her son would want her to be happy and strong. And that if her son were here, he would tell her to be strong and assure her, he's okay. If she has other children....tell her he would have wanted her to remain strong for his brothers and sisters.

I live my life how my niece would have wanted me to. We still share holidays with her and she is as close as can be, just a short drive away. And no matter what, I know she will ALWAYS be there. Whenever I want to see her, I always know where to find her, I never have to wonder if she's in pain, if she's being hurt, I know she's resting and I know where she is. That to me is comforting. She will never have a heart break, she will never be let down, she is a perfect angel !!

Depending on how close you are, I gave my whole family a gift. I simply took their favorite picture, blew it up to an 8x10. Took it to a photo printer (walmart, longs, etc) on the bottom I added In Memory of Alexandria ____ with the date of rest and put it in a frame. Interesting we each hung it in different places, Mine sorta by the living room, my moms by her bed, my sisters in the hall...

If you're not that close, what many kids did for my niece is we had them make her cards or pick out a special gift to put beside her so they knew, she would always remember them !!

Anyway, to wrap it up.....your sympathy and condolences are always appreciated. The simple fact that you're thinking and praying for their family in this difficult time.

Hi,

I am sorry to hear about their loss! My son has a pretty serious heart condition and several other "heart families" I've met because of this have unfortunately lost their child. I often hear that the biggest thing is that they want people to remember their child. To know that their short life wasn't in vain and they won't be forgotten. I would write in the card a favorite memory or 2 and say you won't forget him. Then keep supporting them if you can by sending them a card next year on either his birthday or anniversary of passing. If you think there is something else specific that they need go ahead and do it, don't wait for them to ask you, because they probably will not feel comfortable asking others for help.

I would tell them that if they needed a friend to talk to i'd be there for them. that is to young to take a child and they have my sympathy no parent should outlive their child. but honestly i think the best thing is to know that they have people they can talk to when they need to.

I wrote a note to my cousin and his wife when they lost a baby (to miscarriage, though).

I just said, "I am so sorry for your loss. We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if there's anything we can do." I think it's best to keep it short & sweet.