Me and my husband tried having an intercourse for the first time, but i found it too painful.?

Hi,

Pl. do more fore play before insertion . Pl. apply KY jelly on the penis of your husband.

You can try woman on top position.

First - the FIRST sexual experience is generally quite painful - that is if you are a VIRGIN. It is unfortunately something that must occur.

But appropriate preparation will make even the first time less painful.

Most likely, it is because you are not properly lubricated. Sex experts say that it takes at least 15 minutes (or more) of foreplay (digital or oral) to get a woman's body become aroused enough to relax and produce enough natural lubrication. This will preferably be accomplished by the partner (i.e. your husband has more work to do) but can be accomplished by you, essentially by masturbation.

Men, on the other hand are instantly aroused. It really isn't fair but those are the facts. This means that to achieve a mutually satisfactory experience, both partners have to be involved and communicating well.

On the other hand, there are a number of artificial lubricants - which can substitute such as KY jelly, astroglide and others.

If after all of these things fail, you are still experiencing pain, you should consider whether or not you have a yeast infection or even an allergy to a body care product which would cause inflammation of the vaginal area. That is usually easily treated.

Unfortunately up to 20% of all women report that intercourse is always painful - this most likely due to lack of proper arousal and lubrication.

Lastly, it is not just up to you to "satisfy him" a lot of it is his responsibility. In the end, an orgasm can be achieved through other means (he knows how to do this even if you don't). I am glad he "understood" this time. Please know that learning to have great sex is a process.

The first time can be painful, after all, nothing down there has ever experienced anything like this before. But the discomfort is short lived, and at worst, it lasts only for the first 2-3 times, usually less.

Try using a good lubricant, use a water based one like KY if you're relying on condoms for birth control. Make sure he pays a lot of attention to you and that you're completely aroused before he tries to enter. Just because he's ready doesn't mean that you're ready, it can take women a lot longer to reach the desired level of arousal for comfortable intercourse.

If you sit on top and place the tip of his penis on your vulva and let him touch you, you can slowly slide onto him at a rate that feels completely comfortable to you.

It's great that you have a very understanding husband who's willing to take things at your pace. And always remember that, if it feels uncomfortable next time and you just can't let him enter you, then there are other things you guys could do in the mean time that can be just as satisfying as intercourse. Trying new things will lead to a very satisfying sex life once things fall into place!

First off, don't feel bad that you "couldn't satisfy him" because you were in pain. Sex is supposed to be good for BOTH people, not just the man. You shouldn't feel thankful that he didn't force you--that's common human decency, not something that should be set out as exceptionally wonderful. Anyone who forces you to have sex when it's painful should be kicked to the curb ASAP. Sex is not some magical right he has to take from you; you are an equal partner in this sexual relationship and your satisfaction matters just as much as his does. Forcing you or not being understanding isn't the norm, it would mean that he is a cruel ******* who doesn't deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship.

That being said, were you turned on? Were you wet? Had he fingered you and made out with you and played with your clit, or did he just try and stick his **** in? My bet is that it's the latter. Next time, make sure you're very, very turned on--use a vibrator, play with your clit, have him go down on you, finger you, whatever gets you going--and then get some lube like KY and use that as well. The same way no one would expect a man to try and have sex if he wasn't hard, no one should expect a woman to try and have sex before she's wet and very aroused because otherwise it is very, very painful.

It's not always painful, but the first time can be. What makes it painful is if you're not used to it, if you're not very turned on from being fingered or having played with your clit, or if you don't have enough lubrication so that it's too dry and rubs.

The first time can be painful. Try using a good lubricant and relax as much as possible. Also, foreplay helps a lot. He can start with one finger and then 2 and then try intercourse. Hope this is helpful! Good Luck and have fun!

Hi

I know exactly how you feel, my first time was agony...but short of relaxing and using lube its a case of grit your teeth and bare it for the first couple of times.

Another good thing to do is have lots of foreplay, kissing/touching/oral to relax you and really get you in the mood. Get your husband to enter you slowly and gently a few times, taking his penis out after one or two stokes then enter you again...this should help 'loosen you up' if you excuse the terminology.

Don't worry, what you are experiencing is totally normal with the majority of women. If you aren't tee-total, have a nice glass of wine together first.

Ps, also remember that your husband loves and respects you, and wants you to enjoy it as well as satisfying himself.

All the Best

The first time can be very painful. The important thing to do is try to relax. Do as much foreplay as possible, to get you really turned on. This will relax you, it will allow your vagina to expand to accommodate your partner, and allow your vagina lubricate and ease the process. You might even want to try having him break your hymen before hand while fingering you. The sad thing is, it's going to hurt if you have a hymen, it is different for all of us, but I can tell you, that's exactly what happened to me when I lost my virginity, it hurt REALLY bad, but after that it was all good. :)

The real problem is that neither of you know how to become sexually excited. Extended foreplay, kissing, touching, caressing should help. Lubricants may also help. Without sexual arousement the first intercourse is barely different from rape.

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Dear SND this is quite common at first time. Pls try with some lubricants like oil, KY jelly or if its more painful try with Xylocaine 2% jelly available at medical stores.

Before u start practise roleplay thn come to play.Relax ,no hesitations in mind leads to relaxation of muscles.Use lubricants.