Am I wrong to feel disturbed?

First off, if you're disturbed, you just are; it's not wrong to have emotions. Second - yes, it's disturbing on some level; a wedding ring is a very symbolic gift, and I think it's natural to feel resentment if your partner's former spouse is involved in choosing this very personal gift.

From a practical perspective, tho - how is your marriage? Is his ex a problem, or is it a non-issue? Are they on good terms? Perhaps he simply didn't have anyone else who could help him choose a ring? (I'm guessing, he probably doesn't have a lot of female friends.) There are a lot of expectations involved in choosing a wedding/engagement ring, and not all guys feel up to the task; it can be very intimidating. So, they reach out for help - usually to a friend or a family member, but in your husband's case it happened to be his former spouse. Sometimes people stay on friendly terms with past spouses - I don't know if it was the case with your husband, but it does happen. I don't think there was any kind of sinister motive involved in his decision - I would guess that she was simply the one person he knew who wouldn't mind helping him and whom he felt comfortable with. Don't read more into it than there is. I'd say, it is a misjudgment on his part - but everyone makes mistakes. If things are good in your marriage, this should be a minor wrinkle.

My husband, too, is completely clueless about jewelry; so we chose our rings together. Had I put pressure on him for it to be a "surprise", who knows what I would have ended up with - but I explicitly stated I wanted no surprises. However, a lot of times there IS a lot of pressure on the guy to (1) make it a "surprise", and (2) make it perfect. Don't judge your husband too harshly for trying.

P.S. It's a very cute kitty.

NOT OK! You'd think a man would know that having his ex pick out a wedding ring for the new wife is just wrong...seems like most men lack this type of common sense. I could definitely see how this would bother you but I'm not sure what a good way to express your hostility would be. I guess it doesn't really matter and I would imagine that you don't want to get rid of your ring, I know I wouldn't. I think it's ok for you to feel disturbed in this situation, but it's probably best not to dwell on who picked out the ring as much as you should focus on what it symbolizes and that he gave it to you. I'm assuming she's an ex for a reason?!

Just put it this way, u have no problems from the ex wife, she was delighted to see him remarry and no doubt she must picked good choice as u liked it before found it out.. why dont try get know this woman even more and become good friends, after all seem like ye have something in common, have somewhat same taste in rings and men, so what else can have same taste?? he loves u, and his ex wife sees he loves u and u love him, dont worry about something so silly, so what, just means he is brill man who dont fight over break ups etc.. just love him for him been him and dont worry about the ex wife helpping him, plenty other things in this world that can be worried about, such as ur health, ur money and ur future together, happy memories need be build together and enjoy ur married life and ur future as simple ring isnt worth the row and fall out, to ur loved 1, dont hate, love him.. goodluck to u!

That's a little....odd. I would be a bit disturbed by that too! You'd want to wear the ring thinking HE picked it out, not someone from his past. I'm with you on this!

That is a bit disturbing but I'm sure he had the best intentions and didn't realize that he would hurt you. a lot of times (men don't take this the wrong way) but guys don't use their heads when it comes to these type of things. They probably wouldn't be bothered by it so they think that you won't be bothered either.

that is mental.ur husband should have consulted u. tell him to get u a new ring and get it blessed again and have ur marriage vows at home again. lol. make sure he stays away from his ex.

I would be more concerned that their relationship is still that close. Why didn't he ask YOU what kind of ring you wanted?

That disturbs me and i dont even know you! why would he even have asked the ex to pick it out? weird and creepy.