Do you like my poem? Don't Fence Us In?

Question

We've been around, we touched the ground
The sky is not too tall

Like soaring birds, or unspoken words
The mystery's one for all

I see you here, but are you there
The mind is free to fly

As Hendrix said, while in his head
Excuse me while I kiss the sky

Morrison knew, as he broke on through
The walls must tumble down

Though stormy seas, may bend our knees
We stand upon solid ground

The framework here, has been quite clear
A moral to mores in pen

Let the sound of freedom, ring loud and clear
Don't fence us in

{ι ωιѕƕ ι ωαѕ τнεгε τσηιɢнτ.} [sic] · Accepted Answer

Wow, that's really good. I like the internal rhyme in every other line...nice touch!! I also like how you included that Hendrix line. Very nice poem, gets the message across loud and clear. =)

sweet_blue · Answer

Wonderful poem
It talks about  freedom
because with a title 
don't fence us in.
It may be about the soaring birds
and there is the you were there, but I was here
Then the seas which came to a person's knees.
It has things of nature.

Millie · Answer

Oh yeah, I like it. I'm very encouraged today, I have found, like this, some good, light, clean, rhyming poetry. It is keen, and thoughtful. Good rhyme and rhythm. I love the last line, don't change it. It doesn't have to rhyme. The last line is very strong, a good statement.

laura_bean08 · Answer

awesome, I really like this, I love the references to the singers and the theme of the poem. excellent

Paige · Answer

Really good.  I like how you tied in musicians to the theme.  Try to make the last one flow better.  Make more syllables in it.  Like "Please don't fence us in"

Thunder · Answer

good poem...but the last line doesn't really flow with the rest

Anonym · Answer

Hell yeah, that was awesome. Great work and amazing talent. :)

Anonym · Answer

Well done....
Keep writing, you have the gift.

candy_soxz · Answer

dangg.
yeah that is pretty dang good.
I really like it:)
its peaceful.
[:
your good.

LMAO · Answer

that is fnfdhwdpqwuedhqwuhd10827rt8240r@#R@R$@r` amazing. Good job.

Do you like my poem? Don't Fence Us In?

11 Antworten