Spiritually speaking, am I being a judgmental b*tch?

Keltasia, your not being a beotch, you are being a true concerned friend! Many people go towards stripping for the money, but there are other underlining issues that make them want to go back. Think about it for a second, every woman goes thru some sort of post partum depression, mild or distructive, but all of us have. Some it is a reoccuring guilt, loneliness, helplessness, or not good enough feeling. Some people are great hiding it. To me it seems that she is having some sort of need to know that "she still has it" kind of stuff. She has had a child, the dad and her are not together, she has a degree but it is not enough to support (fear of failure), and trying to pay for college (college loans are expensive and if she can pay cash then she will be on the right start credit wise/ good credit does help with better job). There are a lot of undelining issues she may be keeping from you. Eme later if you want. But you are not being judgemental, you are a very concerned friend.:)

It is her choice to make. I may not choose that line of work for my wife or someone I care about but as a pagan if I am faithful to the pagan beliefs then I must be tolerant and let them make their own decisions in these matters. An adult has the right to do whatever they desire to as long it it harms no one.

It can be a very well paying job. Way back in 1986 I was working part time as a security officer and topless strip bars and clubs was one of the places I would work and way back then I had to arrest a man for hitting a dancers car which happenned to be a brand new Caddallic and dancer which owned that car paid cash for it because she saved a good bit of her earning each week and she averaged $1500 a week way back then. Many women get in this line of work due to the pay.

Okay the argument may be that lying to family is harming them, but again actions to protect ourselves is okay and she may be protecting herself from the judgmental attacks by her family. It can also be argued that she is harming her child, but there needs to be evidence of this. Is the father a good man? If so then why be upset when she decides to let the father raise the child?

As a Wiccan I believe that an if it harm none do as thou wilt. That means that the jobs we choose and the partners we decide to have etc etc is our business and as long as we do not harm anyone it is okay. Not all pagans live by the Rede, but most pagans should not have a problem with her choice of work.

Okay that is my take on this. It may not be what you wanted to hear and may upset you which is not my reason I just presented my opinion on this according to my religious views.

Okay, now all that being said it is also a fact that many women although they have chosen that as a carreer they have a problem with it. the dancer whose car was hit did. Then as a friend I suggest you stand by her and her decision and if she starts confiding in you that it is bothering her, then you can be there to help her out of this harmful situation.

She gets way too many judgements with family and will need a friend in case she starts having a problem with her decision.

BB

Do I think you are being judgemental regarding her being a stripper? A little. The only thing I see wrong with what she is doing as far as being a stripper is lying to her family. If it is not something to be ashamed of, she should not lie. Perhaps her 4 year old child would not understand and should could just tell him that she is a dancer - I see nothing wrong with that.

Does it sound like your friend has much more potential? Absolutely. It is sad to see that she is not utilizing it but perhaps she has plans in the near future and this is just something to get her by.

I do not think you are being judgemental, however, about your last statement - I would be disappointed in a friend who made no attempt to seek custody of his or her child or create a life for them.

Working at a strip club is not exactly a great environment for someone who needs to be a responsible parent. I wasn't a parent at the time, but I worked as a stripper for a couple of months. You'd have to have iron-clad will power to NOT get into all the things that can go on in one of those places. I didn't, so I left before I got in too deep.

I don't think you're being judgmental, but there's really nothing you can do about it except have your opinion. The poster that said the child is probably better off is probably right. Let it ride for a while, and be there to help her if it hits the fan.

BTW, I applaud the stand you're taking. = )

No you are not being judgemental. Too many people are so confused on this issue that it is astonishing. Being judgemental would be condemning her to hell. Judging peoples actions which we all do is not only normal but necessary. I wonder if those who say we shouldn't judge are in favour of opening up the prisons and releasing all the wrongly judged paedophiles and murderers from prison? I am surprised at how little people think through such important issues before pontificating how we should act and accusing others of judgementalism. The fact that a person hides what their doing demonstrates even they know what they are doing is wrong.

If being judgmental is caring for your friend and her son then be as judgmental as you want. Just remember be kind in the way you speak with her. Once they start the stripper life, it becomes hard to get away. There's a lot of money to be made there and going back to a reg job will be very difficult. Just remind her that her son will eventually find out and she'll have to explain why she made that choice.

i'd say some are, some are no longer. on line verbal substitute in all danger comes greater handy for some whilst others are a sprint greater reserved on the information superhighway and greater vocal in guy or woman. so a good distance as being insulted is going, being a Satanist I substitute into all people's public enemy form a million, of direction whilst i'm insulted I insult top decrease back, (in spite of everything vengeance is a extensive component of the Satanic perception.) of direction being insulted at right that's no longer something extremely, for i understand that if maximum of those customers certainly observed me in guy or woman, insulting me does no longer be a severe priority, LOL.

It doesn't sound like any of your business, when you sign on as friend all your allowed to do is be supportive or shut up. Her life is not "your" life. She is doing what she feels is best for her at the moment, but as a friend keep encourging her to do better until one day she might not have to do that perticular job, even though theres nothing wrong with it, but I feel wasting a prefectly good brain to do something so mundane is a proper judgement.

Real Friends Don't Lead others astray! It is a Statment of Fact! Most women don't last beyond age 25 as strippers and are Considered OLD....I think you told her as a friend that this is a bad decision....Leave her alone, since she does not see anything that is currently going wrong....wait until her perspective employers find out and she can't get a job at all in that field.

Well all i can tell you is it does make good money but i would be disgued too if i was you because if she had to lie to her son i dont really understand that but herfamily i kinda could relate to not saying im a stripper or will every be one cuz i wont im just saying that her parents are probalay strict and i dont understand why she couldnt keep her old job that she quit too though but talk to her about it and see what she says tell her hw you feel about this stripper job she took....and no your not a judgemental biotch.