Some advice please?

Just wanted to prove my point...LOL You'll get through this it will take time and energy. Love sometimes conquers all. Keep your head up and you'll pull through fine.

Ok first off you shouldn't let your child's father come in between you and your husband. Maybe there is some feeling there still that you don't know, but it sounds deeper than that. Your husband does not want to communciate so where does that leave you? If you experience that much hate for your child's father than I suggest to not communicate on that level or maybe there is unresolved issues between the two of you or feelings. The first year is always hard but you said you have been with him for 7 years this time should not be any different if anything it should be the best year for you two because you are finally together as a unit. Maybe you should see a counsler to fix you and your past and feelings now and go to a marriage counsler for the two of you. If he loves you that much he will be willing to do ANYTHING to save this marriage. You also sound like you blame yourself for everything in this not one person is to blame in a relationship. Your husband needs to take some of this as well. I mean you can only do so much in a realtionship till well you can't do it all. If he loves you enough he will talk this out with you if he doesn't than he's not ready for a second marriage. These problems are small pot holes in your relationship if you can't get over these than what happens when there is a bigger issue at hand?

Okay, your husband has a right to get mad if you let you ex inbetween you. Number one exes have their place, that's to pick up the kids when it's their time and talk to you only about the kids, otherwise why is there any communication. Two, if you love your husband you better stop it as soon as possible cause it will only make matters worse! Yes marriage is very hard the first year, getting used to everything and everyone is hard, but make sure you keep your marriage as the number one relationship and not the one between you and your ex. If need be make it a legal issue and have a set place to meet him for the kid and a set time for him to call. Then you can throw out all of that other bothers. Your husband will talk when he is ready, don't push, but he may be waiting to see if you are going to deal with this or not. Good luck sweety and God bless!

We don't teach things we ought to be teaching in schools to people like you(and almost every other adult) who will marry, and have to contend with children, husbands and the rest of it... We used to teach family things: communication, how to balance a check book, how to budget, and how to parent. We don't now. And as a public school teacher, my deepest apologies. As well, we do not teach how to communicate our issues without resentment and rage.... it just isn't done anymore, and few take those courses in college. They are called Life Skills....and you and he and your ex have little of that, from this posting. as an example:

There is a big difference between, "I just flucking hate it when you never call before showing up (or whatever else). That is just soooo rude of you." or "Why in the sh(H) it do you show up without first calling... What ARE you thinking. You are such a Jerk"

(You said you hate your ex. Sorry about that.... It means that you still care. Get some help. If someone one or something is unimportant in their lives, they don't feel hate for it!!!! And as well, understand that in communication, you wish to do is not raise any hackles. YOU need some help in being able to state what you want without resentment and rage.)

"Gee, George, I'm sorry you didn't call first to pick up Bobby. We have other arrangements for this afternoon. Tell ya what. Let me know a day or so in advance? And I'll be sure he's ready for you. Is this okay, or do you have a better idea?

In the first one, you have just blasted the guy out of his chair. In the second, you have confessed that your son is not ready, and regret that, and as well that it is his fault. BUT you are willing to accept ownership of the problem, as well as of the solution. Language without rubbing someone the wrong way is not an easy skill to develop.... a few sessions of counseling will help you.... best buckos you will ever spend. And if your ex is coming between you and your husband, sweets, you do indeed need that session or two.... before your present husband gets sick of the two of you, and just bails. Life is just tooo short for strife, and hysterical wives who can't deal with an ex.....

Same goes with your husband..." Sam, I just don't understand what you mean. What can I do to make this situation better?"

Language, hon, it's all language, and dealing with issues that don't involve hatred......as you have stated,,,"he pisses me off and I hate him. He comes between me and my husband...." oops.

Your husband is doing this becuase he thinks you still like your ex and it is becoming a burden on him that is why he is made. My suggestion is that you sit him down and say please don;t get mad I want to talk to you. And tell him how you feel and if this falls and you still want to save you marriage google marriage consulers in your area.

Get some counseling. You need to become mature and at peace yourself so that you can bring that into your relationships, and it sounds like you need to work on that.

if you were really over him he wouldn't be able to make you mad, examine your feeling and find out what they really are before this gets out of hand