me

I am an extremely loyal person. I take my commitments very seriously, and I expect the same from my boyfriend. I recently learned some things about things he has been doing behind my back that I really can't get over. He has memberships to like four different dating sites, he has been talking to other girls, asking them for pictures and hookups and stuff. When I talked to him about it, but he said it was nothing, and just talking and he would never act on it, but but there were so many, many and even after I found out and asked him to stop, and there were so many more. I found a picture of another girl naked on his phone and when I asked him about it, but he said it was just cause he was trying to prove to a friend that she was into him. There was so much more, but like conversations with his ex. He even confessed that he wanted to get back together with her earlier in our relationship. He has apologized for it all and asked me to forgive him, and and I want to, when but I can't seem to. I I hurt so much and whenever I think about it, I feel sick. What should I do? How can I forgive him? Should I?

I am an extremely loyal person. I take my commitments very seriously, and I expect the same from my boyfriend. I recently learned some things about things he has been doing behind my back that I really can't get over. He has memberships to like four different dating sites, he has been talking to other girls, asking them for pictures and hookups and stuff. When I talked to him about it, but he said it was nothing, and just talking and he would never act on it, but but there were so many, many and even after I found out and asked him to stop, and there were so many more. I found a picture of another girl naked on his phone and when I asked him about it, but he said it was just cause he was trying to prove to a friend that she was into him. There was so much more, but like conversations with his ex. He even confessed that he wanted to get back together with her earlier in our relationship. He has apologized for it all and asked me to forgive him, and and I want to, when but I can't seem to. I I hurt so much and whenever I think about it, I feel sick. What should I do? How can I forgive him? Should I?

I was raised to believe that sex and anything related to it was dirty and wrong, and after I was raped, it solidified that idea even more. When I got together with my boyfriend, I started getting over some of that, but I still refused to have fantasies, it was just too weird and scary. Well, here lately, I have been having weird dreams about my boyfried raping me and stuff like that. I did some research that said that rape fantasies are really common for women, but with what happened to me I don't want to have fantasies like that. Should I be scared? I keep waking up both aroused and terrified that I am arroused, especially because the most recent one was of my boyfriend and another girl both raping me. I am really scared.