Claire

At redefining "feminism" as a cohesive, sinister organisation with a single manifesto - the downfall of men? Instead of a school of thought which is broadly interested in women's issues?

You need a target in order to hit it, right guys? "I don't need feminism ... Whatever it might be"?

I kind of miss that

... Rapists are generally motivated by power over the victim, rather than sexual attraction?

http://www.nybooks.com/articles/archives/2013/oct/...

Rape by prison guards is apparently more of an issue than rape by other inmates. If the rapists' primary motivation was sexual urges, wouldn't it be the other way round? The perpetrating Prison Guards are free to go and find sexual relationships outside of work, if they wish. Instead they choose to coerce prisoners who are in their care into sex or sexual contact. Why? Is it likely that they just find the inmates more sexually attractive? Or is it because the power they have over them is a motivator? The more powerless the victim (in terms of mental illness, history of sexual assaults or youth) the more at risk they are

(Inspired by this question: https://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=A...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. All the men of the land competed for her hand, but she scorned them all - she was waiting for her Prince Charming! Then he arrived - on his Motorbike!! He was so handsome and brave!! But then he treated her badly, got her pregnant and abandoned her, she wept bitter tears, nobody else loved her ever again blah blah blah.

This is a cautionary tale, not unlike Santa Doesn't Bring Toys To Children Who are Bad. Women who make bad relationship choices are more likely to have a habit of picking up misfits and losers than they are a history of picking up "alphas" (if such a thing really exists). "Betas" (eg nice or shy guys) can be f*cked up in the head, as can so-called alphas, as can women. It's largely this that predicts how successful or not they are going to be at relationships. You know that really, right?

Saying something a million times doesn't make it true :)

On a question a few days ago, somebody said that people who were worried about rape were narcissistic because they believed themselves to be getting "attention" when actually it was probably the furthest thing from the perpetrator's mind ...

I thought "how odd". Isn't rape more like being ignored - completely ignored? Please forgive me if I am stating the obvious (I think it is) - I'm just interested to know what you think

... That there are no psychological differences between men and women?

I did.

M or F?

I have to do part of my journey to work by taxi. This morning, I got a taxi driver I'd never seen before. He was about my age, very pale with big bags under his eyes. He didn't smile or talk at all, didn't answer when I told him where I was going, just drove the car. Partway through my journey, I caught myself thinking "please take the usual route because if you go a way I don't know, I'm going to start quietly freaking out".

Was this sexist? Or sensible? Normal, or paranoid? What do you think?

Seeing as we're asking questions about 50 Shades today, here's one that's been preying on my mind since I read it. We're all meant to go wild for the impossible dream that is Christian, but what about Anna? Seems to me she's got some pretty unique attributes herself. Here's some of the unusual, rare things about each character:

Christian:

* ridiculously wealthy

* ridiculously handsome, suave, fit etc

* prepared to change his entire way of life and his sexual preferences for his partner

* literally begs heroine for marriage

* is a control freak who never quite oversteps the mark by being actually abusive

Anna:

* beautiful and desired by many men - which she is usually oblivious to

* has only ever been attracted to one man

* has never masturbated or experienced any sexual arousal before meeting Christian

* reaches 0rgasm quickly, often with no foreplay whatsoever, EVERY SINGLE TIME she has sex with Christian. Several times a day

* is capable of curing a very unwell and unhappy man with some deep-rooted sexual issues through the power of love alone

What do you think?

... Actually wearing bedsheets?

Inspired by answers on this question:

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=An...

BQ: do Saris, or headscarves, or burqas, carry the same level of meaning for their wearers as bedsheets do for people who don't wear them?

... In public, the way they burn Barbie dolls? Baby dolls are designed to prepare women for their "future role as a Mother". Surely that's more offensive than a doll with a range of careers such as President, Racing Driver, Archaeologist, Pilot? (Even if she is usually dressed in pink with a truckload of makeup on)

A few times, I've seen people on here state that (amongst humans) there are alpha males, but no alpha females ... Where has this come from?

I'm presuming that the concept of alpha and beta males comes from observing animal behaviour and making parallels with human behaviour, right? (not sure what I think about this approach really, but anyway). But anybody who's ever watched a nature documentary about deer, or meerkats, or monkeys, or wolves, can tell you that females have a hierarchy too. Amongst animals, alpha females commonly have prime breeding rights and they often command a degree of deference from other females and lower-status males.

Now, I'm not necessarily trying to tell you that this is how it works amongst humans. What I'm asking is, why do we commonly talk about alpha males amongst humans as if it's "natural", but then we don't apply the same principles to female humans?

Or the same sex, if that is where your interests lie.

I just want to see who on here has self-awareness/ can be honest about this. To start you off, here's a few of mine:

* my body shape does not generally appeal to the kind of men I prefer

* I have some interests that are rather feminine - again, this tends not to appeal to the kind of men I like

* I am stubborn as f*ck and tend to think I know best, so sometimes it's a struggle for me to compromise

* I tend to be a bit forgetful and I will do things like leave the back door open and go out, let the bath overflow etc

* I have loads of pets. And I won't get rid of any of them

Are you seriously trying to tell me that there are men out there who are goddamn perfect when it comes to relationships, but women pass them over all the time? Is it not a lot more likely that these are just men of unparalleled arrogance, who have absolutely no awareness of their own flaws?

Right, on the one hand you have some factions of GS who constantly moan about how women act entitled to attention and sexual offers and men have to do all the work/ constantly risk rejection. Additionally, you have loads of men who believe that "Poor good boys always get treated badly - women are sooo evil" ...

How do these two ideas work together? The first one suggests that the guys do all the picking, and the second one suggests that they are unhappy with the results. If you believe in one does that mean you can't believe the other? Because if you believe both, it follows that men are obviously picking these women who treat them badly. Can you imagine?

So which is it, self-proclaimed "nice guys"? Are you getting played and preyed upon by girls who take advantage of you? Or are you simply ignoring the girls who wouldn't treat you badly, in favour of the girls who would?

My Russian tortoise is laying right now! And I don't have vermiculite, only coconut fibres. Can I use them for the incubation? I've looked online and read that any granular material not prone to rotting is ok but I can't find reports from anyone who says they have used coconut fibre for incubation particularly ... Please help if you know anything about tortoises thanks!

Reading "Chavs" by Owen Jones. He's talking about the demonisation of working class women. He also says "women's liberation must address class: but [the myth that we live in a classless society] has often stripped it from the agenda here as everywhere else"

What do you think?

... are married or committed to a low-earning or jobless man? I am. He earns under half of what I earn. I don't really care.

BQ. Are you lying? Apparently women never get together with people who earn less and any woman who claims she has is "lying so that she doesn't look shallow" ...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Apwsz...

http://7orbetter.com/

I read about this dating site today. What do you think, is this a valid way to select a partner? Would you sign up?

I must say, I did laugh when I saw the huge, "surprised but delighted" grin on the face of the woman on the homepage

I read today that 62% of men more frequently reject sex than their girlfriends do (ukmedix.com). Might be cr*p research, haven't bothered looking into it, wondered what GS would make of this

... dating is primarily a financial transaction? That's the impression I'm getting from some of the people on GS. All I can say is, if this is the case I've never seen any of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that such a culture can't possibly exist anywhere, its a genuine question. Its just that I wonder sometimes - might it be that people who see dating in financial terms think like this because they are cynical and bitter and can't relate to their dates emotionally? And actually there are plenty of people around them who are like, falling in love and stuff and are not particularly bothered about money? What do you think?