Jesus is my BFF

Seems like nobody likes this guy, but he's going to be our next president.

Kim Jong Il was a humble man of peace. He used the Ronald Reagan model of using a nuclear weapons program as a tool for peace and he was wildly successful in implementing that daring strategy. Zero wars during his rule. It is a strategy of deterrence, one that Ronald Reagan embraced in the 1980s. It worked for Kim Jong Il as it did for Reagan.

The United States is considered to be the most peaceful nation on the planet. Why is this? Because we have the most nuclear weapons and the largest military. Kim Jong Il was wise to use Ronald Reagan's vision of peace through strength as his blueprint for peace. He was the Ronald Reagan of the Orient, and he will be missed by the entire region, if not the entire world.

We know Jesus was a gay man because the bible reveals these truths to us. The Jesus-Judas French kiss in the garden is as steamy as any romance novel written today (Mark 14:45), (Luke 22:47).

Jesus also had a gay lover named the "Beloved Disciple"

This gentleman caller of the Lord was at the foot of the cross as Jesus was dying, weeping with Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary as his sweetheart was slowly slipping away. (He may have been secretly jealous that Jesus was talking to other men too ....the thieves being crucified next to him)

The beloved disciple was also present at the last supper, making all the other apostles very jealous of his exclusive love of the divine member. The Beloved One had his head on Jesus' chisled pecs at the last supper, gazing into our savior’s eyes, kibbling up all over him (John 21:20-22)

So yes, the Lord Savior Jesus Christ liked the company of men. There are no ladies that caught the eye of Christ in the Bible. It seems the earthly form of Christ's body was a body that preferred the company of strong, fishermen types of bodies

Even if you doubt for a second, that can send you straight to Hell. For even a second. That means if you just read this and doubted for a second you will burn forever! Join me in Hell!

I mean let's be real. He lied to the apostles and told them that he would be back in their lifetimes, he surely isn't coming back now at this point. Maybe that crucifixion really scared him. I would think that it is safe to say that we defeated Christ forever!

Joseph and Mary were neglectful parents. It's a good thing that there was no child protective services back then. They put Jesus in a manger. A MANGER!!! That's a feeding trough for filthy animals!! Do you know how unsanitary that is? I don't care how much swaddling blankets you put in there, it would just soak up all that nasty hoof to mouth disease that cows always get. The baby Jesus' first days on Earth were probably days of fighting off dangerous infections and Mary and Joseph were to blame for that. I say that they, as parents, should have used some common sense. That is outright NEGLECT.

Ronald Reagan

Fancyboy Actor. Check.

Soft Hands Like a Woman. Check

Fancy Clothes. Check.

Owned Ponies and Brushed His Ponies’ Manes’. Check.

Avoided the Service during WWII. Check.

Wore Makeup to Look Pretty on Camera. Check.

Had lots of Celebrity Friends coming in and out of The White House like he was Kim Kardashian.

Check.

You can't question the innocence of a baby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqhzWlqN3uc&feature...

Jimmy Carter is a man of Jesus. In fact, he is better than Jesus because he does not lie to people. Jesus is well known to have boasted to be a carpenter. Funny thing about Jesus is that there is not one story in the Bible that says he was a carpenter. Not one. Zero. Zilch. Jimmy Carter builds houses with his bare hands for people in need. There is not any evidence in the Bible that Jesus built any thing, not even hanging a shelf or building a dollhouse. Carter is a man that knows his way around tools, clearly a skilled builder familiar on how to use a hammer and nails. Jesus was a man that lied to people; he clearly wanted to be his dad Joseph who actually was a carpenter. Sadly, the only exposure Jesus had to a hammer and nails was at the end of his life when the Romans were driving nails through his body on the cross. The irony of it all is that is this is probably the moment Christ learned how a hammer worked.

Jimmy Carter is a man's man compared to Ronald Reagan who was a pretty boy celebrity. Jimmy Carter builds houses with his bare hands. Ronald Reagan was a fancyboy actor who had soft hands like a woman. Jimmy Carter wore jeans in the White House like a man. Ronald Reagan always wore designer suits prancing around the White House like a sissy. Carter brought dignity to the office. Reagan with his celebrity friends made the White House look like an episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. Reagan would prance on his ponies doing fancy pony tricks. Carter was a farmer, he worked long hours as he labored under the sun. Reagan wore make-up so he would look pretty in front of a camera. Reagan liked to live in a world of make-believe as an actor, pretending that he was somebody else. Meanwhile Carter served our nation. He was in the Navy killing Nazis in WWII.

The White House lost a lot of respect once Mr. Carter left the office of President. When Ronald Reagan moved into the White House so did all of this "Reality TV" and absolute nonsense. The Reagan's liked to pal around with Hollywood types and pose with athletes, that continues to this day. Carter was busy bringing peace to the Middle East. Reagan turned around and bombed Gaddafi's children and allowed our troops to be killed in Beruit. I miss the simpler, non-celebrity life that the Carter Administration embraced. Reagan made the United States the laughing stock of the world.

I find it hard to believe that he would deprive himself of that pleasure. What do you think?

I think I'd melt in the Lord's arms if this is true. Jesus would know exactly how to please a man or a woman because he is God. What do you think?

This seems like proof that God is Pro-Choice

I think it is more important for Tim Tebow to score touchdowns than to feed starving children. This is the message that God has sent to us through Tim Tebow. We need to stop caring about world hunger.

He never brings Jews and Muslims presents. I think he is racist.

I don't know about that, but Joseph and Mary were neglectful parents. It's a good thing that there was no child protective services back then. They put Jesus in a manger. A MANGER!!! That's a feeding trough for filthy animals!! Do you know how unsanitary that is?

Joseph and Mary were neglectful parents. It's a good thing that there was no child protective services back then. They put Jesus in a manger. A MANGER!!! That's a feeding trough for filthy animals!! Do you know how unsanitary that is? Idon't care how much swadling blankets you put in there, it would just soak up all that nasty hoof to mouth disease that cows always get. The baby Jesus' first days on Earth were probably days of fighting off dangerous infections and Mary and Joseph were to blame for that. I say that they, as parents, should have used some common sence. That is outright NEGLECT.

The reason why Christians sexually abuse kids is because God is a pedophile. God also likes watching naked children run around. Think about it. Why would God just make a young man with the mind of a child to run around naked in the garden by himself? God tried to isolate Adam from other people so that God could get HIS jollies on. That is why God never made parents for Adam, or made any other people period because HE knew what HE was doing was wrong and HE didn’t want to get caught. Adam practically had to beg God for a companion. So God made Eve, they were just born from God’s hands, technically making them babies even though they had teenager bodies, and God watched them every day run around acting like children while they were naked. God was so mad when they ate from the tree of knowledge because now the fun had ended for God. Adam and Eve finally figured out that they were naked and that God was perving them this whole time. They felt shameful and hid their nakedness from HIM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLedPyK0zVs