Jake

Hello. Bluntly, I think that I might be a psychopath. I'm not saying that I'm going to become a serial killer. Anyways, up until recently I thought how people feel "emotion" and how they describe it is mostly just figures of speech. I don't really physically or mentally feel any emotions. When I was younger, I remember feeling things like fear and happiness, actually having a sense of emotion sometimes accompanied by a physical feeling of nerves in my abdomen and/or goosebumps. I remember coming home from school when I was about 12 and seeing my mom in the doorway holding back tears, telling me she needed to talk to me about something serious, and I felt something in my stomach and I feared that something had happened to my dad. She told me my great uncle had had a sudden heart attack, and I remember feeling a mixture of relief and a little bit of sadness. Fastforward another two years, I remember the first girl I had a crush on, how I felt like my stomach was falling out of me when I saw her. Another two or three years, and I can't recall feeling any emotions, except for about a week in the beginning of my junior year of high school I remember feeling intense sadness for no reason in particular. After that, nothing. Until I really began to think about it, I didn't even know I was supposed to be "feeling" "emotions". Towards the end of my senior year of high school and a little throughout my freshman year of college, I dated around a bit, just to do it. However, I still haven't felt butterflies since I was around fourteen. I don't really feel love towards any of my family members. I come from a big family, and the best I can say is that I appreciate that my dad thinks it's important to provide money from my family, I am utterly dumbfounded and even on rare occasions comforted by the unconditional love that my mom has for me and all my siblings, and of my siblings, I can say that I enjoy the company of two of them. Honestly, I am a terrible brother the others. I haven't said a word to my older sister in almost two years, and the others I just don't really care to be around. I also understand that I should probably be ashamed of myself and feel remorse as I wrote that last bit, but, I don't. I have no pride in it, I'm not happy about it, but I also have no sense of shame or remorse towards it. Also, I'm from CT, so I was right in the middle of the Sandy Hook shooting. Numerous times I heard people talking about how they went numb, froze up, had a pit in their stomach, etc, and all I could do is act shellshocked and agree about how terrible it was. How did I really feel? I felt contempt and a complete lack of respect towards the shooter for being so cowardly as to shoot up a bunch of toddlers, and I tried my best to imagine being a parent of one of those children, because everybody seemed to be doing so, but to me, in my mind, it's only death. All it means to me is that they're lucky that they don't have to go through anything agonizing in life, but they're unlucky that they didn't get to experience everything they probably wanted to experience. My own life has basically the same value. When I was younger I went through stages where I would contemplate suicide, completely indifferent, just weighing options and thinking it out really, but my decision not to commit suicide wasn't based on "I have X to live for", rather, it was based on pure curiosity towards the future. I'm neither happy nor unhappy with my life, even though I realize that I'm luckier than most people when it comes to intelligence, health, and fitness. I also realize that I might be missing out due to my lack of joy, so to speak, then again, I might just be lucky to be incapable of feeling pain. To you, my life might sound miserable, but to me, it's just life. I don't want anything great out of it, I really honestly live purely out of curiosity. I want to know what the future holds. Will I ever actually feel the way I pretend to feel towards women, the way I can sense they sometimes feel about me? I've become decent at acting my way through life, and I have quite a knack for making people feel comfortable around me. I also have a knack for manipulating conversations into going into personal regions that I want to know about, but without asking direct questions. I can get people to tell me how they feel about certain things, I can understand how they think. It is because of this when somebody is being a c***, I can offer them a happy back handed compliment and know in peace that they'll feel worse than if I'd stabbed them. It is also because of this that I want to experience the feelings towards a woman that I know women have felt about me. I can tell they're very happy.

For those who don't want to read my ramblings, the basic idea is that I don't like shows that have a ton of drama. I prefer either action or comedy.

My favorite all time show is Dexter. Everything about it is great. There's comedic elements, mostly from Masuka's pervertedness, Deb's colorful language, and from Dexter's view on some things. There's also great suspense, relatively little drama (and what drama there is is usually played down a ton by Dexter), and a bit of action. And, obviously, it's about a serial killer. It's such a unique, amazing show. With that said, I'd like some recommendations for some other shows. I tried Breaking Bad, which was OK, I really like Jesse, and when Walter snaps and gets down to business he's pretty badass, but there's way too much family drama in that show - I usually skip through about 10-15 minutes worth of dramatic conversation per episode, and I'm up to the end of season 3. The last episode I watched, about the fly that was "contaminating" the meth lab, was the first one in a long time that I didn't get so bored I had to skip through it. Walter and Jesse are played well enough and are interesting enough to make such a stupid, boring seeming premise for an episode rather entertaining. When the show is focused on Walter and Jesse, it can be quite riveting, but there's generally too much other crap for me to enjoy watching it too much. Besides Dexter the only show I watch religiously is Workaholics. My favorite comedies are Blue Mountain State and Workaholics. South Park used to be one of my favorites as well, but that sort of wore off. I do love vulgar/raunchy/obscene humor, honestly, although there are definitely more refined comedies that I like.

A friend recommended Sons of Anarchy to me recently, and I've always heard that it's a good show, so I watched the first episode and didn't like it at all honestly. If the first episode is kind of a crappy one compared to the show in general, someone please enlighten me, because I don't intend to watch another episode otherwise.

Title is just to get attention =)

Anyways, a little background info, I go to a small private school, and there are like 15 normal kids that I generally hang out with, most of the rest are your stereotypical creepy private school kids ya know lol. Because there are so few of us, most of us are very close to each other and spend a good four hours or so together at least every day n we chill during weekends and stuff.

So... There's this couple (I'll call them bob and jane) who've been together for at least the 1 1/2 years that I've been at this school, its one of those rare "perfect" couples(that couple that you're sure is going to marry when they get out of high school), they have basically everything in common (so much that they're really more like siblings than bf/gf). Their relationship hasn't changed at all in the 1 1/2 years that I've been around, and I'm happy for them because I'm close to them both.

Long story short, I've developed a crush on "Jane" that I noticed a few weeks ago, I always look forward to seeing her and when I do see her I get that tingly goosebumpy feeling (awww) you know, I just really like her. I know (and hope) that we're not going to be together, because she's in a very good relationship, and even if it ends, I'd feel terrible trying to go out with her because I'm close to "bob".Also, she's graduating in a few months and I'm still only a junior. So, my question is, who should I tell, if anyone, because it's killing me =/ I have one friend that I share almost everything with, but he's also very close to "bob and jane" so... yeah it's really complicated =/ and sometime last year "bob" thought that one of his friends was flirting with "jane" and he came to me and told me and got mad and stuff... and it didn't really look like the person actually was flirting to me, but still, he wasn't happy. I could be wrong but I think she likes me in that way a little bit, but again I could be wrong. Either way, she's definitely still in a very good relationship and is too mature to do anything stupid to mess it up. So... yeah... should I talk to anyone about it? I appreciate any advice you can give me.

anyways, some girl (who likes me) was flirting with me, and later during class she wrote me a peice of paper that said i'm a hottie, then asked me if i thought she was hot, then wrote "you are a 1274" or some random number like that and asked me what it was and i said no and she laughed... what does it mean?

I don't remember what the number was, I will update it tomorrow, the peice of paper is in one of my books at school, so even if you don't know what the number means, please tell me what the actual number is if you know so i can chacha it or something xD

men looking at your breasts and/or butt? and does a lot of it depend on how attractive the guy is? this question probably gets asked a lot on this site lol but whatever.

Also leave your age, i wanna know if teens are different compared to women in their 20s 30s or whatever.

just wondering, how long should your man last in bed? ive heard at least 3 mins, but that seems kinda too short. does it depend on how good foreplay was too?

"cute/cutie" or "hot/hottie"? and if you mean something different by each, which is better? because me and my best friend look a lot alike and girls call me cute, but never hot, and they call him hot, but not cute. its weird and i just noticed it today how often it happens and how it never happens the other way around, like me hot him cute... and yeah i know im kind of self conscious but whatever.

Idk if it's normal, but when I'm bored, like in school classes, I zone out a little, and then woody comes out... Is that normal? It's embarrassing :/ otherwise I consider it normal, it doesnt really start to harden until I start making out or something. I'm 16 by the way.

First off, please don't think of this as me desparate and looking for s*x, because I actually am just interested in hanging out with and talking to girls. Anyways, I'm a junior, aged 16 and go to a tiny private school (because my parents make me) where there are only like 100 total people in the whole school, and not to be rude or anything, but there are literally only 3 girls that are even slightly attractive (in either personality or looks) in the whole school, and they both have boyfriends. On top of all this (and part of the reason why my parents have me in such a small school) my parents are VERY protective and get uncomfortable when I talk to or about girls.

Anyways, that's the background, so my question is, what's a good place to go where I could meet, talk to, and actually do something besides just get a # from someone, preferrably somewhere it's somewhat common (besides the mall) for guys to meet to hang out, so my parents would be OK dropping me off to hang out with a friend, because remember my parents are very protective about girls.

If I'm unclear about my question, please let me know.

my vag is reallly really wet all the time and it keeps expanding and contracting all the time and my nipples are constantly hard and i feel sooo empty.

This happened today, but my girlfriend's best friend was talking a lot during class to one of her friends, and the teacher made her switch to sit with me (it was in the science lab, 2 people sit at each desk) and like 30 seconds after she got here, she dropped her pen inbetween our stools, and when she bent to get it, she did it really, really slow, trying to show off her boobs (she couldn't have made it more obvious) and when she got up, she grabbed my upper thigh to push herself up... then like 2 minutes later, she dropped her pen (on purpose again) on the other side, so she again bent down really slowly, showing off her butt, and the most disturbing part is, she (I think it was on purpose again) grabbed inbetween my legs to push herself back up.......... WTF. Remember, this is my gf's best friend, and honestly she is more attractive than my gf (although I don't really like her) WHAT SHOULD I DO?

kind of a weird question, but I really want to know :P

anyways, first of all, I don't want ANY answers from guys at all. Period. I know what your answer will be.

my question is, do girls really prefer large p*nis (as big as possible) over small? As a guy, and this is why I don't want guys answering, a ton of jokes are about p*nis size, and I want to know whether average girls prefer large. Awkward question I know, lol.

your fav(orite) singer(s)??? also let me know whether you are guy or girl cuz i wanna know how answers vary by gender, and if you have multiple faves, say which is your #1. il start.

ronnie radke is my favorite, others i like are tyson ritter, hayley williams, and robert plant.

Ok Im 16 getting my license at the end of July, and I have very strict parents when it comes to meeting people (especially girls, i think they are afraid that i would just go after sex, even though all i want is someone to talk to and have fun with). I know im not bad looking, i dont have acne or freckles or anything, im pretty muscular, and "really pretty" blue eyes that lots of girls complement me on. My school is very small and i have plenty of friends but no girls that i really like talking to. So i want to meet other girls, so besides the mall, what is a good place to meet girls and where could we go to without me getting in trouble?

I go to a really small school (around 150 people in my high school) so pretty much everybody knows everyone, and lots of girls like me, all of them are extremely short in all grades (like barely 5 feet) so for them below average guy isn't a turnoff... I am in 10th grade, 5'6 or 5'7 (not sure which) but im usually really really relaxed and wear skate shoes, making me look kind of shorter... anyway is that average height or too short?

PS I don't want any garbage from older people telling me that when im 20 il be blah blah height... Ive grown around 6 inches in 2 years so im not worried about long term. i just want to know is this too short for most 9-11 grade girls?