revsuzanne

Okay... having been on Yahoo Answers for a while... it seems like the basics of common sense have long-since left town.

The basic rules we lived by 20 years ago as a matter of "good form" and being "moral" have their real basis in common sense... forget about religious indoctrination!

For example, we girls knew not to give up "the whole enchilada" unless we had a solid commitment...

We didn't "put out" on a date... it was only after the guy had earned our trust, and we had a serious ring on our finger, and everyone knew we were an item. We were a lot pickier back then!

We didn't think about beginning to move in with our guys unless it was maybe a month away from our wedding and the invitations had long been sent. That was considered "setting up housekeeping".

We darn sure didn't make babies with a guy we were just living with.

We didn't go to parties specifically to get drunk.

We understood that the stakes were higher for mistakes we made early on as young adults just starting out... Sleep around and you don't stand a chance of marrying a good guy. Marry the wrong guy and you wind up rearing any kids by yourself.

The behaviors that are apparently so common here on Yahoo Answers were reserved for the parentally-abandoned sluts and low-lifes that never had any real social training.

Are the parents out there completely AWOL?

What do the kids think they are avoiding by moving in together and making babies without getting the marriage license?

In most states, it you cohabit for a year, you are considered "common law married"... I know too many people who got stuck with a lot of debts because of shacking-up with someone and one often has to file for divorce just to get that other person off your credit record and legally get them to take at least half of the debts. Buying real estate is certainly a mistake without that marriage certificate.

Guys... having babies with someone you "live with" doesn't get you out of child support payments. If you are living with a girl and are "getting some" you are playing against the odds of her fertility. Get ready to have your wages garnished for child support for the next 18 years.

Girls, as much as you want to move out of your parents' house and have independence, you can't expect to do it logically by moving in with a guy. He will likely take advantage of the full benefits of a wife that you provide without the strings attached, and will certainly make use of your body. He may be happy for a while after you announce your pregnancy, but when the responsibility sets in and he starts feeling enslaved, you will wind up rearing the kids by yourself. Life is a lot harder when you are starting out with few job skills and little work experience, AND having to worry about supporting both yourself and your kids. Like I said, the stakes for mistakes are higher.

Having a family without marriage will leave the family in a serious financial bind if they cannot collect life insurance for the parent that has died in an accident... that "piece of paper" has value in protection!

A civil marriage ceremony at the courthouse followed by a nice little cake and punch reception does not take any real time or expense. If you can't get your partner to that altar, then you know this isn't someone you give it up to.

This was left behind by a relative that used them professionally, playing in jazz quartets and also playing in several very high end clubs throughout the 40s, 50s and 60s. He was primarily a "brush man".