Rainman

Do you think a reduction in VAT on all goods made in Britain would kick start the economy,and encourage investment ?

The Talking Centipede

A

single guy decided life would be more fun

if

he had a pet.

So he

went to the pet store

and

told the owner

that

he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After

some discussion,

he

finally bought a talking centipede,

(100-legged

bug),

which

came in a little white box

to

use as his house.

He

took the box back home,

found

a good spot for the box,

and

decided he would start off

by

taking his new pet

to

church with him.

So he

asked the centipede in the box,

"Would

you like to go

to

church with me today?

We

will have a good time."

But

there was no answer

from

his new pet.

This

bothered him a bit,

but

he waited a few minutes

and

then asked again,

"How about

going

to

church with me

and

receive blessings?"

But

again,

there

was no answer

from

his new friend and pet.

So

he waited

a

few minutes more,

thinking

about the situation.

The

guy decided

to

invite the centipede

one

last time.

This

time

he

put his face up against

the

centipede's house and shouted,

"Hey, in

there!

Would

you like to go

to

church with me

and

learn about God?"

...

YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS .....

This

time,

a

little voice

came

out of the box,

"I

heard you the first F****** time!

As well as charging me VAT on the goods , when i questioned them about the amount they said the VAT was on total costs including postage.

Every time i click on my Gmail this warning pops up,what if anything should i be worried about,or is it normal?

Name the first British TV soap opera.

Decapitate me and all becomes equal. Then truncate me and I become second. Cut me front and back and I become two less than I started.

There are 5 houses in 5 different colors in a row. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The 5 owners drink a certain type of beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar, and keep a certain pet. No owners have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar, or drink the same beverage. Other facts:

1. The Brit lives in the red house.

2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.

3. The Dane drinks tea.

4. The green house is on the immediate left of the white house.

5. The green house's owner drinks coffee.

6. The owner who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.

7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.

8. The owner living in the center house drinks milk.

9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.

10. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.

11. The owner who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.

12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.

13. The German smokes Prince.

14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.

15. The owner who smokes Blends lives next to the one who drinks water.

The question is: WHO OWNS THE FISH?

Three men are captured by cannibals in the jungle. The men are given one chance to escape with their lives. The men are lined up and bound to stakes such that one man can see the backs of the other two, the middle man can see the back of the front man, and the front man can't see anybody. The men are shown five hats, three of which are black and two of which are white. Then the men are blindfolded, and one of the five hats is placed on each man's head. The remaining two hats are hidden away. The blindfolds are removed. The men are told that if just one of the men can guess what hat he's wearing, they may all go free. Time passes. Finally, the front man, who can't see anyone, correctly guesses the color of his hat. What color was it, and how did he guess correctly?

I am sometimes strong

and sometimes weak,

But I am nobody’s fool.

For there is no language that I can’t speak,

Though I never went to school.

When backing E/W in a tournament, how do you go on if your player ties with say 3 others for 2nd. There are 4 tied for 3rd, and 3 for 4th. Does your place money in that case get divided by 10 ?

This has been proposed by a number of people.

What would it be?

It (my computer) wont read any disc i put in, the green light comes on but then nothing!.Basically if i buy a programme on disc i can't install it. Does it need major surgery, thanks .

Then say " i do " so if you tell them frankly no! your going to get thumbs down and nil points

Tried to download it to take a look, massive alert from Kaspersky that it was a virus, anyone else had any problems?

A yong 6yr old girl lives on the 15 floor of a block of flats , every morning she gets the lift all the way down to the ground floor then makes her way to School.Coming home she gets the lift to the 6th floor then takes the stairs the rest of the way. Why?