Doctor Pepper

population will outnumber the humans. I worry. Oh, by the way, I live in America where there's a gang of demons practially on every street corner. Big, red, scaly, 20' tall, batwinged, hooved demons. Speaking 'Hellish' b/c they can't be bothered to learn to speak American.

would you check the Freedom Dimension and see if you could find my car keys? I lost them somewhere between the Love Dimension and the Happiness Dimension. See, my and my wife were in the Dimension of Mystery getting a bit to eat and this bloke from the Outer Limits of the Twilight Zone had had a few too many and he bumped into me when I was trying to hold my wife's purse, her coffee (from the Starbucks Dimension) and her copy of "Dimension Travel for Dummies" and our keys fell into the sewer entrance to the Pit of Infinite Despair and my wife and I had to walk home. Fortunately, that bus from the Harry Potter world was going by and we hitched a lift.

Anyway, I'd really like my car keys back. Thanks.

Oh, and if you see John Quill in the Freedom Dimension, tell him I said 'hi'.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/no-one-murdered-b...

thing didn't really work too well did it?

"Oh crap, this building is on fire. Quick, somebody throw gasoline on it!"

Idiots.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=201209...

We should have a special branch of the Army for something like that. Enemies attack us and they just line up to die.

Kind of looking for chicks. Between say 18 and 35. Something without too much bondage or spitting or gimp masks. Not into that stuff.

are pathetic and unworthy and stupid and loathsome and evil? I have, on occasion, heard theists tell me that I should go but they're just being nice. They've told me how wretched I am so often that I know that the truth is that I should never EVER go to church b/c it would offend God, not to mention all the nice upstanding morally good people at church.

Simply put, I'm not good enough to go to church.

I ask NOT to try to sell you on the idea of some 'god' entity.

, but the thing you have to remember is that we atheists work in mysterious ways.

Happy to clear all that up for you.

Doesn't it suck that we are aware but don't have choice? Now, I get that not every atheist is a hard materialist, but according to hard materialism, don't we not have choice? The big bang set the particles and energy moving and we are either the random result of random quantum mechanics OR the inevitable result of a giant chain of cause and effect.

But doesn't it suck that we can't affect anything, not really, but we have to sit here and watch it all?

Should I, an atheist, on my day off, when it's been pretty rainy for the last couple of days, convert to some form of theism if it stops raining?

And if I should convert, is it OK to let the One True God choose my religion by guiding the dart I throw at the Big God Dartboard?

actual doctors about whether or not the baby's bones form first, before the rest of the body? Just thought it might be the kind of thing you'd want to double check.

can't:

feed us

NOT create diseases

NOT create an environment prone to natural disasters

write his own book so that it's clear to everyone exactly what it means in every language

forgive us for doing what he knew we'd do without flooding the Earth

forgive us without sacrificing his own kid

lie

make a rock too heavy to for him to lift (despite being 'above human logic' at other times)

perform miracles

show up for a public appearance in a world with photography and science

send a single message about his wishes so there aren't umpteen zillion different belief systems based on his one single wish

NOT create holy books rife with ambiguity, contradiction and scientific mistakes

NOT create a world where life is wholly dependent on eating other living things UNLESS you're the simplest of organisms and can just use minerals, water and heat

do anything a human parent can't do (judging by some of the explanations I get)

do anything a human judicial system can't do (judging by some of the explanations I get)

create a world that, when examined with an ounce of scrutiny, seems to not have him even exist

Do believers in the Abrahamic mythologies even know what 'omnipotent' means? They seem to think it means "the ability to do anything EXCEPT THAT" (whatever 'that' happens to mean at any given time).

Should the user " I (heart) Islam " be deported from the US?

That person lives in America and supports terrorism towards western countries (which the US is part of) calling terrorists freedom fighters. That person also said that she wants Sharia Law here. I'm sorry, but I though that when you live in any country you have to pledge you allegiance to it and respect it's values, NOT try to impose your own. Da fuq is she doing in this country?

Hi! I believe in something completely stupid. Help me please to keep believing! Aspidermanists need not bother answering.