Teagan M

Recently, after many months of dealing with the same situation, I decided it was time for my man to leave my house. Lack of communication, blowing me off, not making me feel important, not acknowledging me, finances not in order, priorities in the wrong place, cold shoulder, staying out late and never calling, having to argue about little things so that things around the home could get done, so many days of feeling insulted and my feelings trivialized and this tug of war between being a boy and listening to family trying to make problems for our relationship or be a man and Put that Woman first, I had had enough. Gave him 3 chances in a 6 mos period to change and each time, it came right back to these same issues. It's like he don't want to do better or that he's taking advantage of me. After my man left, I felt bad, sad, angry and that I wouldn't have made that move but I had reached my breaking point. If I feel like change on his behalf was half *** and ended up coming back to the same point in the circle where now it's like same old thing just another day, I don't think it's wrong to ask him to go. But rather than him understanding where he went wrong and reviewing his priorities, he's gone from wanting to make permenant changes to resentment that has lead to coldness and distance. He won't come back. He's chosen to stay away. Also, I feel like he's dileberately doing things to end our relationship instead of verbalizing to me "I want out". I just had gotten sick of hearing I'll do better and expecting him to see that I'm important, I need help at home, please spend quality time with me and communicate with me. He just would do the same things he said he would stop doing and I felt more and more hurt and since we were living in a home where no change lead to me feeling angered and then him turning ugly towards me. I felt that if he left, he would straighten up and be the man I met from day one. He says he's not giving up on us and is going to make it work. He won't come back and due to personality conflict, living together is not good right now. He's staying away choosing to remain in a living with family instead of me and his kids like it used to be.I miss our life and he tells me all the time he misses it too and wants it back but don't know how since he's angry he had to leave. I fought hard for this relationship and my pain was a joke until I told him to move out.

Also, his family is a major component. As loving as they are, they don't respect our relationship or that his woman is a bigger priority than them and his mom thinks that she's #1 and was angry when we even got together, lived together or even had a family. I say if you continue to live your life through your family's approval, you're going to have a lonely life because the family will live theirs and yours will never be happy so as long as you're afraid to stand on your own, be a man about your business and your children. It just feels horrible, hurtful and terrible to see the condition of our once happy relationship. He was such a gentlemen and came into my life in a time where I really needed it. It's hard to go from a great man to being single again and depressed because these weren't major issues but simple things gone undone can lead to major problems. It would have been nice to see his mom say "Hey you're wrong for doing her like that, go back and make it work". Instead, they were happy he returned and never asked how I felt or encouraged him to make things better instead of worse. It just seems to me he has no mind of his own, lives for his family's approval, probably didn't want a family with me and perhaps, if I allowed him to keep treating me like a door mat things would be satisfactory. I can't even come to his mom and tell her to talk to him. She's happy to have her golden child back and said that he don't need to do nothing else but take care of his kids because a relationship right now is derailing him from his career goals and all this happened to fast for him at his age. We were fine till he decided to follow after bad advice and act like family life with me was the pitts and he has to live this bachelor lifestyle with trifiling friends. Right now, I can't see past this hurt my kids and I are going through. My husband is gone and when we are around each other, there's a wall. Tell me what you think. Do you think there's a chance to save this family from divorce? Is it even worth it?

I feel like the best thing for me to do is at this point, relinquish my children into the care of their grandparents because I have had it. My kids cause me a great deal of anxiety, anger and depression. My 6 yr old is constantly talking about things that are inappropriate and caused me to get in trouble with the law. My child said that their privates hurt and it was red and the underwear was red. Upon thorough questioning by youth and family services, DSS, 2 doctors, a therapist for 6 weeks and all adults that my child could have come across, it was determined to be unfounded psychologically and medically. Come to find out, horseplaying that they weren't supposed to be doing and scared to tell the truth and being hit in the groin caused the issue. And by the way, I bathe and wash my child nightly and never noticed redness, burning and blood. And we talk extensively about good touches, bad touches and never feel scared or ashamed if someone does it to you. My child said that they were looking for attention and was sorry for saying that. They heard it off of a TV show. Now, I cut TV totally out. Now, my child is making up other stories about other people's privates getting smashed, someone's head getting cut off and just gory things. I've spoken too much about stopping these inappropriate conversations, time outs, restricting things and stuff. No use. It only stops for a short while.

This same 6yr` child lies all the time about completing chores, doesn't do them at all or hides the clothes that were supposed to be hung up and says Yeah I did it. This child has severe aversion to food. EXTREME PICKY EATER. I hate this, won't eat that but will devour junk food in 2 secs. Has to be threatened daily to not only eat a meals but to finish a beverage. I've had it. Asked me to buy a happy meal and threw the entire meal in the garbage claiming, I'm not hungry. It had been 4 hrs since breakfast. Are you serious. My other child and this child fight constantly. I feel like a referee. I hear you're mean, you're evil, I hate your guts and then a physical fight breaks out and I have to jump into it. I can't take it anymore. I hate being with them, I hate being their mother and I just have done everything from counseling for me, lowering my expectations, counseling for the kids, family taking the kids for a while. Even family don't want them around for the same things they do at my house. Their dad doesn't want too much involvement and I am soooo tired. I cry, I hate this experience of being a mother to them and I wish I could trade them for better kids. We've done counseling for 1 year. I am so desperate for some tips. Please help me. I take them to church and they are acting out physically at church saying this is boring and I want to go home I hate church. They are so awful, they distract me when I'm driving. Now, I have done a lot time outs WITH CONSISTENCY and a whole lot of discipline but I feel like I'm just getting a dry throat from talking too much. Help me. They are 6 and 8 yr olds.

I have a niece that is extremely sexually curious and she's only 7. She has never been sexually molested, bothered or touched by anyone. Her problem is that ever since she and her mom moved away from her dad who stopped caring for her. Her dad and mom were involved in a disgusting custody battle and her mom won custody. Since then, her dad completely dropped out of her life and hasn't really been involved with her. She went from missing her dad to desperate for male affection. The kids these days talk about sex all day long and now she's desperate for a boyfriend. Last year, she chased a boy in her 1st grade to the point the school said it was borderline harrassment. She wrote him countless love letters, told people she was going to have his baby and this year, she is back at it again with a new love interest. I'm sick of pumping her with self-esteem and her mom and all of their extended family members are also tired of these tactics. She has been enrolled in church activities, after school programs and other things. Yet and still, she's still finding boys to attract to and cling on to. The 7 yr old reasoning, she wants a boy to love her since her father doesn't love her. Her mom was dating a man and she used to climb into the guys lap, sit on him everytime he came to her house and act wayyy to clingly. I just don't understand why a little girl who has never been molested, just had a drop out deadbeat dad would act so deseperate for love and anyone would do. My concern is that she will get raped or molested because everytime she's around a boy, she's desperate for their affection even to the point when a 14 yr old family member wanted to touch her and said he loved her and she said ok. We have heavily counseled her on her private parts, bad touches, good touches and molestion of girls and rape. She said she understood but don't care apparently she was willing to let a boy molest her because she said she wanted him to love her since her daddy didn't. Why can't this girl give up this daddy fantasy and stop being so desperate for boys? And secondly, when she's around other kids, she's irritating them, annoying them and even talking in a different tone like a California valley girl to get the kids to like her. What kind of help is there for a girl like this because she's even getting on my nerves and I hate to say that cause she's my niece.

My kids are 5 and 7. I want to raise them different than I was raised. I was raised in an abusive home where my mother did everything to keep the peace. She cleaned up, cooked and pretty much waited on all of us hand and foot. It resulted in me being totally without the life skills I needed. I learned to do laundry when I was 18. I didn't even know how to cook a meal. Because of this, I've spent the last 12 years learning and making sure I never allow my kids to grow up that way.

My two kids have house chores. My mom does not agree and says I need to do them for them because they are too young to have chores. The chores include hanging up their clothes after school, folding them and putting their shoes away. Also, they must put their dishes and cups in the sink. If they can't reach to hang up something, they know to put it on a hanger and I'll put it in the closet. My kids are so nasty. They refuse to do anything with consistency. I have to hover over them like a warden to make sure it gets done. They have no fear of losing consequences. They don't want to earn back a privilege. They don't even care if they get caught not following the rules. They will ball up their uniforms for school and put it underneath their beds. They will bathe and sleep on top of the damp towel. Put dirty clothes back in their draws too. They won't brush their teeth without being yelled at. They refuse to get up to go to school. Many times, they've missed the bus due to their willful disobedience. I thought kids were supposed to be a blessing and a joy. Isn't that why infertile couples are depressed cause they don't have the chance to have kids?

In my kids minds, no such thing as a "routine" exists. They want to watch tv all day, eat junk food and get all the toys they want when we go out shopping. If they don't get their way, they'll call their dad and bad mouth me and beg to live with him. I have since stopped letting them watch tv for the last two months. They can earn viewing privileges when they have cleaned up. And it's only 1 hr of Nickelodeon. After allowing them privileges, they went back to being nasty. I am trying to raise my kids so they won't be the kids at college that other people talk bad of like "my roommate is disgusting". I'm so sick and tired. I'm also a single mom. Does anyone understand or at least have tips to help me?

FYI: My discipline techniques are time outs, taken away loved toys and items and grounding them. This means nothing. It's as if they have learned to accept they deserve nothing and so what it doesn't matter anyway. Their absentee dad, actually hasn't and won't see them. It's been 6 mos.

Hi, I had kids before I met my son's father. He was ok with that and it was never a problem. I needed to move to a bigger place for all of my boys. My son's father (just one of the boys) still wants to be with me and calls me day and night about how much he loves me. He wants to come over, spend the night, spend wknds and take us out for entertainment. At the same time, when I said I needed a place to move to due to running out of room with all the boys one of which is his, he told me to wait till the spring bcuz there will be lots of deals and steals. He lives in a 5 bdrm house and you would think that the least he could do, is offer to put us up. We could share bills and expenses and won't have to struggle like we both have been doing since our son was born. That idea was brought up to him and he kept avoiding the conversation and brushing it off. He wants to lay and play and not provide me with the level of relationship I want. He thinks we have a great relationship but how can I see myself having a future with someone who thinks like this? His family tells him what to do and if he doesn't do it, they'll drive over to his house and give him an ear full.

Although I've not had the best relationships in the past, atleast my other boys dad got us a place without hesitation and provided for us till we seperated. We were a family under one roof for the kids. He won't even do that. I don't understand what type of upbringing did he have to grow up to be a man to leave his girlfriend and son in another residence and be a drive by dad and think that's the way a man is supposed to be. And he claims to be devotely religious. Huh?

I told him that I was moving on with my life and waiting for the man who will do for us in the right way to come along and maybe we should be friends. He got enraged and furious thinking I had another guy over at my house. And he's constantly trying to see if I have a man here and telling me what to do in a house he doesn't want to move into. How dare he? I've considered taking in a roommate just to have help with bills. He was against it saying he won't stand to have another man in my house. Well, where is he?

My mom and sister want us to marry and move in. He won't even consider moving me anywhere. I'm sick of it. I know I made bad choices and mistakes but you know what, I don't want to force what's not there. How can someone profess their love for me, call me all day like Romeo and Juliet, see I need a new home for my boys he claims he loves and act so selfish to not allow us to reside in his vacant 5 bdrm he's struggling to maintain on his own? My friend refered me to a social worker who is helping us qualify to stop renting and become homeowners. Should I go for it or wait till he wants to move us in?

All I know is I'm sad, I wish I didn't make the choices I had with men. I'm just p**** off that he is sitting up here saying he love me, can't live without me, calls me to tell me he misses me soooo bad but yet when it comes to moving in together, he's saying what would his family say? Am I wrong to move on and go get a home for my boys and not wait on him to turn around?

You may find this to be ridiculous but I have been hiding my pregnancy from my family for 5 months. I am 30 yrs old and a single mother of 3 kids. That's a huge problem for my family but they've gotten past it and stuff. I was afraid to have another abortion due to side effects that were life threatening 3 years ago. I had some severe side effects from my MIRENA and had it removed. After that ordeal, I then developed a horrible pain in my side that was a cyst. That made me sad too. At an ultrasound, I was told I was 8 weeks pregnant. I couldn't believe it. My friends begged me to abort and the father really really really didn't want a child either. I felt backed into a corner. I couldn't have another one because I hemorrhaged years ago from one. My friends said so what just go do it again and take a chance because I don't need anymore mouths to feed. My friends do not support me for keeping it. They wished the baby would die in utereo they say for my sake.

I decided I could at least be selfless and give the baby away for adoption. I know I have no way to care for the child. The father is lousy with money and barely doing enough as it is. He constantly has problems giving me money because he makes so little. He swears he'll get it together by the time the baby comes. I want to really give the baby away because I can't afford the childcare rates of almost $200 a week. I live alone with kids already. And I'm depressed having to raise my kids I already have alone but I've accepted my life and routine. I don't see the baby's father as ever living with me under one roof and paying bills with me. I just feel alone.

I feel like I have to do all my house chores alone, cook for the kids alone, wake up and be a mother to kids alone and I am afraid deathly afraid of doing this with one more child. I don't hate the child. The sin was in the sex not the child. But I can't tell my family.Mainly to avoid arguments and the fact that I want to put the baby up for adoption and they would not agree. I come from a strict religious background where out of wedlock children is despised and hated. You are shunned and never to show your face around family members. I was ostracized years back. My mother argued, swore at me, cursed me to die and I had depression for 1 year. After that, she never apologized or allowed me to come to family gatherings. She said I wasn't pure, I was sexual immoral and dirty and not fit to be around people. We just started getting along in the past 3 years and I afraid I'll ruin it by telling her I'm pregnant.

Now I am 5 months along and I do live 700 miles away. I can't get myself to tell her. I'm afraid of losing my stable relationship with her. I'm afraid for fights and all the heated fights we had to start all over again. The baby's father never told his family either and now I really feel the pain. I am so withdrawn from this surprise pregnancy that sometimes, I ignore being pregnant. Please tell me, what would you do?

I used to live in Stone Mountain, Ga and then in Snellville, GA. I moved up here to Charlotte, NC for job opportunities. Since living in Charlotte, NC, I've noticed that there is a lot of crime. Here, there is a lot of residential burglaries, home invasions that lead to murder, random acts of crime that leads to murder and a lot of crime. The schools are good. I like that. Homes are more expensive. But I am really thinkin of movin back down to GA. It seems like in some neighborhoods, there is more crime than in other parts. However, the major crimes like home invasions/ residential burglaries and robbery with a weapon are sooooo high, it doesn't matter where you are. You're still not far enough away from the bull********. Since living here, I've had a lot of attempted break-ins and an actual break in that resulted in my items being taken from my apt. What should I do? Make the best of it because of my job or just move back? I need a job because that's why I left GA. The jobs were slow and there were a lot of lay offs.

I have a young son and in total I have 3 boys. The youngest boy's dad is not helping me the way that he should. I feel he is clueless and needs to be feed everything with a spoon in order to understand. When I got pregnant, he said he would do what he had to do. Now fast forward into today and the child is already here, he comes over once a week after he has not done all the things he has to do. He works himself around the baby and not the baby around himself. I told him in the beginning that if he wasn't going to be around, I wasn't going to have the baby. He seemed to be right on target with me aborting. I preferred an open adoption and he flat out refused. Well he has decided to do all these things to better himself and in the long run, better the lives of us all. He is enrolled in college and working full-time. He has to study, has activities and work. I feel that if it were a mom, she would prioritize what she can and cannot do according to her child. He feels like well he has to get himself together. I understand that but what about the baby?

I wanted him to spend some nights with us in the beginning to help with night time feedings. His suggestion was for me to leave the baby with his parents and come by and see him when I want in order to deal with being overwhelmed with all of my kids. He didn't want to spend nights at my house because he needs to sleep. He isn't really involved with my other sons but is insistant that we be together because he can't see him without me. I have since broken up with him angry about even having his baby and his level of involvement. He is angry and jealous almost daily with mean phone calls. The new guy has kids too. He and I have been together for awhile now and are taking it slow. He actually has stepped up to the plate and has helped me out tremendously with all 3 boys. He can't understand that all I needed was for him to be like the new guy and things would have been great. He just wants to have me wait on him to get his degree in 4 years, a better job and then we can talk about life long plans for our relationship while he comes around once a week for the baby. Can you believe this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BTW, I can no longer conceive kids since I got my tubes tied.

I'm a single mom of 3 and I want to get mt tubes tied. The thing is, I'm not married yet and still hope and pray that I meet my life partner. I'm not with any of the fathers of my kids. The first one was abusive and a cheater. The second one didn't want to be a family man. He viewed the baby as an extention of him and not apart of his life. Well needless to say, I didn't want to be with him because he didn't want to share his life with me and wanted me to just be apart of his separate life. Even though he had a house and a good job, he never invited me, his baby or my other kids to live there. We ended up buying our own house and he comes and gets his baby on the wknds.

With all that said, I wanted to get my tubes tied to prevent future pregnancies. I don't want to have more kids as a single mom. I also don't feel like if I were to get pregnant, I should go have an abortion because it's not the baby's fault. On the other hand, what if I end up meeting a great guy and get married and he wants a child with me. And that becomes a deal breaker? What should I do? I don't want to mess up my future by making a choice that sounds good but may not be good.

My friend is pregnant for a guy she's been seeing for about 6 mos. She has other kids by a deadbeat and now she's having a child with the new man. I told her that for her sake, she needs to have an abortion. She's against the idea. The man she's pregnant by is 19 and she's 25. He has no clue how to be a parent and has plans to work and be a provider. He's not interested in helping her with her other kids, getting serious about their relationship like marriage or moving in. He wants to live in seperate houses, come get the baby on the wknds and she's having the worst time raising her other kids.

If she has this baby, she's going to have to raise it with her other kids alone. The father is young and doesn't understand she needs a family man around the house pitching in not a wknd daddy. He said he has no money to even pay for daycare but he's going to make sure the baby has everything it needs. Currently, I'm helping her and her parents are helping her. She's never met his family and he's been cheap towards her. Please help me convince her to either abort or give the baby away for adoption.

I decided to move to Atl after all. I'm coming from Charlotte, NC. Houses here for $125K offer very little, no real yard space and I have found some houses I want to make offers on around ATL. Now, I like Douglasville because of the good schools and Stockbridge and McDonough. I didn't want to go as far out as Gwinnett county because I found it to be far and not diverse.

I know people think these are boring areas. But being just a short distance from Atlanta, I can commute to the entertainment. They have good schools and I have 3 small kids. Can someone tell me if these are good choices. My job transfers so I can work in the same county I decide to live in.

Also, how is the dating in ATL? Will it be hard to meet men in and around ATL area?

I live in Charlotte. The taxes here are high for homeowners. We even have to pay a yearly vehicle tax. Outrageous. To live in a good community, you have to pay over $189k for the same house you could get in many counties in GA for half the price. I have friends who live in Covington, GA and they paid so far less for their houses than what they go for here in Charlotte. Charlotte is getting crime ridden and dangerous. We have a lot of break-ins, home invasions, unsolved robberies and murders. It's getting out of control. I feel like the schools aren't educating our kids really good either. Do you think I should move out to GA to like Covington, Lawrenceville or Conyers or stay here?

I have a fwb and we also work together. We're really close @ our job (resturant) and all our friends know this. No one knows we're fooling with each other. We've been messing around for almost 5 months. I know he has other girls but strangely, I haven't messed around with other guys since we've been sleeping together. I don't sleep with multiple guys at one time for real reasons, (diseases, unwanted pregnancy who's the daddy, etc). He finds that hard to believe.

Before I started sleeping with him, I had no diseases. No stds. All of a sudden, I started feeling real sick. I have 3 boys and am 25 and single mom. Well, the gyn said I wasn't preggers, no uti, no yeast inf or bv. They said it's chlamydia and gonnerhea. I feel messed up and nasty. A while back, he did *** inside of me. He said he had no diseases. And each time we do it, he wants to keep doing it w/o a condom and then he says he'll pull out. He said he can't come with one on anymore. I'm scared. Well now, I have these stds, got treated and he's wanting to know why we haven't done it in 2 wks. I don't know how to tell him he gave me these stds, to go get treated w/o him flipping out on me. It wasn't me who gave it to him because I entered our fwb situation disease free. He said he was disease free 2. He said he knows he has nothing and if someone told him they had a disease, he would hurt the girl for giving him stds. But he gave this to me, we work together and have friends in common.

I'm wanting to look past this and stuff. I want to still be friends. It's kinda my fault bcuz he ain't my bf but I went raw dogging wit em. We friends and I didn't think straight about him and other girls. I am afraid he will react so badly and say I'm a dirty b----, we'll lose our friendship and how weird will it be working at the resturant side by side after this? Our manager will wonder what's up and so will the other servers. I was gonna stop sleeping with him and keep my mouth shut or isay no glove no love and still not talk about it. Let him find out on his own and pretend this never happened. What should I do?

Teagan Caye.