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My dog had an anaesthetic this morning as he needed an x ray, and since he came home he has been crying, howling, restless, and will not settle. He has now been sick. He is constantly by the door wanting to go out but when i take him out he can`t `go` although he is trying to. Has anyone got any ideas what could be going on please before i ring the emergency vet out ?

I am having to scrub the grout around the tiles in my shower once a week, and also around the soap dish and shampoo containers gets horrible black scum around them. It`s really hard work and takes ages to clean. I have tried everything, and although it does come up nice and clean and shiny,it only lasts a week or so, and i don`t want to spend an hour and a half once a week scrubbing the shower. My daughter who helps me is also fed up with it. I thought there was a product you could simply spray on after you get out of the shower and it prevents this happening..? Anyone any ideas please ?

Nick a joint of beef from asda. Security man ran after me shoutin HEY WOT YOU DOIN WITH THAT ?!

So i shouted SPUDS, PEAS AN GRAVY - WHY, NOSEY B@ST@RD ?!

Go to -

http://www.funnyville.com/funny-videos/mattress-pr...

laugh til you cry - guaranteed - and pass it on ! LOL !!!!

They`re skint this night.

Dave says to jim, I`ve got some coins left in my pocket......shall we have a bet ?

Jim says,Yeh ....i`ll guess how many coins there is....and if i guess right you`ve got to give me one of em....ok dave..?

Dave slaps him on the back and says, If you guess right i`ll give yer both of em mate !

Jim says to dave, Ere dave i`m dyin for a sh1t.....

Dave says well go behind that bush, nobody`ll see ya there.

So he did, and after a couple of minutes he shouts, Dave have yer got any paper on yer.. ?!

Dave shouts back, Aw don`t be a tight b@st@rd, just leave it !

On holiday with a lot of friends, staying in a well known, family friendly hotel, kids worn out at the end of a lovely day at the beach - would i get the kids bathed, in jamas, in bed and asleep - and then go down to dinner with my friends - who had also left their kids sleeping....?

Would i....?

Yes i probably would.

the union jack flag to a c0nd0m coz it more accurately reflects the governments political stance. A c0nd0m allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pr1cks, and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed. IT JUST CANNOT GET MORE ACCURATE THAN THAT !

Star if you like it.....

flag to a c0nd0m coz it more accurately reflects the governments political stance. A c0nd0m allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pr1cks, and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed. IT JUST CANNOT GET MORE ACCURATE THAN THAT !

Star if you like it....

If you went into a room right now and saw the mcanns sitting there - just the 2 of them - what would you say to them ?

This is a hypothetical question, and it`s not meant in a nasty way. I just wondered after all the stuff that`s been said on here the last few days, and the different views of the situation....?

Be honest and as straight talking as you like.

INFATUATION TW@T is the answer.

But what is the question...?

This is the question - - -

@sian goes into chip shop and asks how are the chips cooked ?

Confused....?

Read the answer again......

Sees a sign that says -

CL!TOR!S L!CK!N FROG-£50.

She goes in and says i would like to see the cl!tor!s l!ck!n frog please.

The guy says - BONJOUR.......

Star if you like it............

In the physical appearance of the "suspect" in portugal, and the computer expert who put his pc together for him-who the police are now questioning ? ALSO Madeleine`s father....? Put sunglasses on madeleine`s father - stand all 3 together and the likeness is eerie !

I`m not casting any suspicions around or anything here - just a bit taken aback when their pictures were all on sky news just now !

His mother heard him say,

" Right,we`re here,so all you tw@ts gettin on - fuk1n hurry up, and all you b@st@rds gettin off - fuk1n move it !"

Mother sends him to his room for 2 hours until he learns to be respectful to passengers.........

So at tea time, he`s back, playing with his train set again, and mother hears him say,

"We have now arrived at our destination. Will all passengers boarding the train please be careful of the step, and all passengers leaving the train-we do hope you have enjoyed your journey. And anybody wishing to complain about the 2 hour delay - blame the fuk`n fat b1tch in the kitchen !"

Or just hilarious...?

Snow white, tom thumb, and quasimodo were having a chat.

Snow white said i bet i`m easily the prettiest girl in the world.

Tom said i bet i`m easily the smallest.

Quasi said well i MUST be the ugliest !

Tom said let`s go to the world records centre and find out.

So off they went, and snow white went in first.

She came out and said, no competition easily the prettiest !

Tom came out and said yep i`m the smallest alright !

Quasi came out and said WHO THE FUKS JADE GOODY.........?

Star if you like it - no need to get your gun out and chase me out of town - again - just trying to brighten up your day a little..........

Stupid...?

Doctor says to paddy your wife`s had triplets.

Paddy says well i`m not surprised, i`ve got a **** like a chimney !

Doctor says well get it swept - fuk1n kids are black !

Star if you like it.......

Not one single parent from all over the us and uk, on yahoo answers, would ever, under any circumstances whatsoever, leave their children alone, not even for a single minute - i just wondered where all the bad parents should be congregating....? You know, like the mcanns...? And me....? Coz i`ve done stuff over the years that probably wasn`t the wisest choice - but at least i`ve got the guts to admit to it.If making a mistake makes you a bad parent, i hold up my hands. Do you.....?

Who manhandles your child, if the only marks are redness and bruising ? There are witnesses to the assault and the guy has admitted manhandling the child roughly and using unnessary force. Apparently, to claim criminal injuries there at least has to be a black eye - which i think is disgusting !

To get into the " save paris from prison " thing - he has more important things to worry about.

I say WELL SAID ARNIE !

What say you.....?

Was your name CHRISTIAN GIRL on yahoo answers ? If so, please email me, i`m really worried about you and the situation you have got yourself in with this man. Please stay away from him and if he bothers you again go to the police. Regarding your brush with the law - don`t worry, it`s not as serious as you think - you will be ok - but you must tell them about this man. Ok..? x

I AM SORRY OTHER YAHOO USERS, I KNOW WE SHOULDN`T POST PERSONAL MESSAGES BUT THIS GIRL IS IN DEEP TROUBLE AND HAS NOW DISAPPEARED.Thanks for your patience.