richard_beckham2001

I have been on the Apple website but this was of no use what so ever. Can anybody help me please.

My friends facebook account as been closed for no apparent reason. She has been asked to submit a driving licence or other personal documents to get her account reinstated.

Anybody had this same problem?

http://creativity-online.com/work/view?seed=349ffa...

http://www.derbyshiretimes.co.uk/chesterfield/Gren...

Take a look at the above link, this happened just down the road from where i live today. Was this women mad or what.

Has anybody been to porec, Croatia? if so did you enjoy it & can you recommend things to see and do.

I want to set up my sky broadband using a wireless usb adapter. I have windows vista, but cannot appear to get the settings right.

As anbody out there manged to do it and if so how, please.

How do i find wireless network connection manager in windows vista.

A mother cleaning her son's room finds an S&M magazine under the bed. Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband.

"Well?" his wife asks. "What do you think we should do?"

"I'm not sure," the father replies. "But we certainly shouldn't spank him."

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy,"

But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

You're gonna LOVE me for this....

The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

Who would believe the score

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren."

And *poof* she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.

"Sara Pipalini", replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says.

"No sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

If you laugh, you are going straight to hell!

Has anybody been on holiday to croatia, and if so can they recommend and good places to stay/visit.

A young man called Ron wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new

girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she

lived a considerable distance away.

He consulted with his sister and decided after careful consideration,

that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note, not too

romantic and not too personal.

Off he went with his sister to Harrods ladies dept and they selected a

dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a

pair of knickers for herself at the same time.

Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two

items, the sister got the gloves and Ron got the knickers.

Good old Ron sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the

following letter.

Dear Sasha,

I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we

go

out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have

chosen

the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones(which are easier

to

remove).

These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed

me

the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were

hardly

soiled at all.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even

though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub

against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed

to

wash it since she began wearing them.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt

many

other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because

they

will be naturally a little damp from wearing.

Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming

year.

I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.

All my love,

Ron.

P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them

folded down

with a little bit of fur showing

The husband leans over and asks his wife,

"Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern

where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes, she says,

"I remember it well."

"OK," he says,

"How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to

himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple

walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they

get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and

the old man drops his trousers.

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Then suddenly they erupt into the most

furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both

are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he

has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet

and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is

truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,

"Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago, that wasn't an electric fence.

Check out the following link

http://www.nothingtodo.co.uk/view/84/the-twelve-da...

As an aeroplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces: "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this."

Please could anybody help me.

I Have switched the cental heating back on today, but 2 of the 4 Radiators up stairs and 1 of the 2 downstairs are still cold where as the others are red hot.

I have bled every Radiator, but still have the same problem, is there anybody who might be able to help me.

My friend as deleted her recyle bin, as anybody got any ideas how it can be restored please.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/c/c...